Could I Have Been A Victim Of Tommy Shelton? Options

[Ralph]

I honestly don't know how to answer this.
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You did a wonderful job of answering it. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I can only imagine what you are going through as you write. You mention the anger, the guilt and the hurt. I just wish we could talk and weep together.

I have no platitudes to offer. Like you, I find them hollow. Please continue to talk over these things.

You've heard it before, but I want to say it again, It's not your fault. It's not your fault . It's not your fault.

[GrammieTana]

Dear PJMusic:

Please know that your musicality is truly a gift from God. Thank you for giving Tommy credit for how he helped you with it, but that in NO WAY makes you a part of his sins. And I, too, am very glad that you were spared the pain of physical abuse by Tommy. The emotional abuse you endured in feeling sorrow for your friends who went through it was traumatic enough. I do not blame you for not speaking out either to your parents or to your friends. Again, you are not responsible for what happened to them. The fault lie squarely in Tommy's lap.

I know how you feel. I was raped by a family member (not my father!) when I was nine years old and never said a word about it because I felt that maybe I was partly responsible for what happened. We were very poor at the time and he offered me candy if my memory serves me. I know now that this person was jealous of me from the time I was born and he took it out on me - he was very sly because he knew the trouble he would get in if the 'powers that be' found out what he was doing. He had been punished in the past and blamed me for it.

Now, a question for everybody else: In light of the Oprah Show today and the mention of the fear that is put into victims more often than not - What dire consequenses might Tommy have threatened those little boys with which allowed them to stay quiet - Oh, that's right! CAROL might KILL HERSELF and it will be YOUR FAULT! And there probably were other threats as well. . . .

Just a thought!

JT

[PeacefulBe]

I can no longer believe in the common phrases of "everything happens for a reason", or "God works in mysterious ways", and other little catchphrases that churches use to help try to ease suffering. It angers me that this is the best type of advice that I can ever hear. If I had a choice, I wish I never believed, but unfortunately I have to believe. The church and pastor I was in made sure of that.

PJMusic,
I can understand your bitterness and how what you have gone through has sullied your outlook on your past life experiences. The tendrils of sin touch far more than those in its immediate grip. The actions of the sinner are far reaching, far greater then the one committing the sin realizes or grasps. Satan understands this oh, so well and I imagine chortles with glee when one submits to his plans.

The common phrases you mentioned can feel not like words of encouragement but rather like attempts at minimizing the gravity of the experience or victimization. This is typical of the impotency of the denial that often surrounds situations such as this.

It certainly does not bring hope and healing to think that God would allow such things to happen for a reason! The truth is that Satan is behind all of this sin and suffering and hopelessness. The only silver lining I can offer, as one who was victimized, is that after sin has rampaged through your life due to the choices of one under Satan's spell, God can pick you up and help you to use the experience to benefit yourself and others.

There will come a point in Earth's history when all will see clearly the father of all lies and all suffering. And there will be no more of either!

[PrincessDrRe]