Molestor Babysitting Your Children, How many would allow it? Options

[PrincessDrRe]

I will still ask the question - to remind us of the reason for the concern....

Thoughts?

[watchbird]

I will still ask the question - to remind us of the reason for the concern....

Thoughts?

I would also not want my children to be anywhere near them... even in the presence of other adults. And I would CERTAINLY not want them to ride in a car with them... even if other adults were present, nor take any kind of teaching from them... especially anything that is one-on-one such as music instruction or tutoring.

And that holds no matter how old they are.

I recall a distant family member who was 94 years old when he was expelled from a nursing care facility for inappropriately "fondling" a little 5 year old girl who was there with a group who were visiting "the elderly". I also recall a young man.... not married for many years, who "finger-raped" his wife's younger sister in the back seat of the car... while they were traveling... with other family members were in the front seat.

The old man, btw, blamed the little girl... saying that she was so seductive!

Can you imagine how his daughters felt when they had to take him out of the nursing home and care for them in one of their own homes? Especially given the fact that they had both had to leave home before they were fourteen since it was not safe for them in their own beds!?!

[princessdi]

Mercy!!! Blamed the 5 year old?!! Ols as he was, they should have taken his nasty self to prison, right then and there!

But you know people aren't all like the rest of us who say "no way". There is an offender here in Northern Cal, who was chemciall castrated, severd his time and released. It made the news because they ahd to move him around so much--nobody wanting him in their neighborhood. Anyway, in November he was stopped with a 14 year old boy in his car. Thing is, the family knew the boy was with him, and to this date nobody even said it was a relative of anything. Now I am questioning the judgement of this boy's parents.

I would also not want my children to be anywhere near them... even in the presence of other adults. And I would CERTAINLY not want them to ride in a car with them... even if other adults were present, nor take any kind of teaching from them... especially anything that is one-on-one such as music instruction or tutoring.

And that holds no matter how old they are.

I recall a distant family member who was 94 years old when he was expelled from a nursing care facility for inappropriately "fondling" a little 5 year old girl who was there with a group who were visiting "the elderly". I also recall a young man.... not married for many years, who "finger-raped" his wife's younger sister in the back seat of the car... while they were traveling... with other family members were in the front seat.

The old man, btw, blamed the little girl... saying that she was so seductive!

Can you imagine how his daughters felt when they had to take him out of the nursing home and care for them in one of their own homes? Especially given the fact that they had both had to leave home before they were fourteen since it was not safe for them in their own beds!?!

[PrincessDrRe]

I still can't comprehend any ADULT with SENSE saying that a child can consent to sexual relations.

Bump the "legal definition of consent" - a child, is a child, is a CHILD!

[PeacefulBe]

I would also not want my children to be anywhere near them... even in the presence of other adults. And I would CERTAINLY not want them to ride in a car with them... even if other adults were present, nor take any kind of teaching from them... especially anything that is one-on-one such as music instruction or tutoring.

And that holds no matter how old they are.

I recall a distant family member who was 94 years old when he was expelled from a nursing care facility for inappropriately "fondling" a little 5 year old girl who was there with a group who were visiting "the elderly". I also recall a young man.... not married for many years, who "finger-raped" his wife's younger sister in the back seat of the car... while they were traveling... with other family members were in the front seat.

The old man, btw, blamed the little girl... saying that she was so seductive!

Can you imagine how his daughters felt when they had to take him out of the nursing home and care for them in one of their own homes? Especially given the fact that they had both had to leave home before they were fourteen since it was not safe for them in their own beds!?!

Sad, sad, sad. It demonstrates how crafty pedophiles seem to be and how oblivious parents, etc. can be.

One other problem with allowing a child to be around a pedophile, even with the parents there for protection, is that familiarity builds trust in the child especially with the parents' seemingly giving their stamp of approval. Children don't have the developmental level of judgement to see the characteristic dangers that adults can.

[Skyhook]

I have read that many, if not most sexual abuse, molestation, or whatever you want to call it, is done by family members or friends of the family. I have seen cases where girls were victimized even further by parents and family when they told about it. The children were sacrificed, called liars and crazy, and even sent to psych hospitals as an attempt by the family to avoid dealing with the fact that a husband father, a step father or brother or someone close had molested thier child.

I have also seen cases where men get admitted to psych facilities very likely on the advice of thier attorney, to be treated for "depression" while charges are pending against them. If these men are given psychological testing, they probably show up high on a sociopathic scale, and not particularly depressed. Just a guess.

This post has been edited by Skyhook: Jan 9 2007, 08:52 PM

[roxe]

I would also not want my children to be anywhere near them... even in the presence of other adults. And I would CERTAINLY not want them to ride in a car with them... even if other adults were present, nor take any kind of teaching from them... especially anything that is one-on-one such as music instruction or tutoring.

And that holds no matter how old they are.

or how "cute" they smile...

going thru some papers today, came across an envelope of 3abn with a picture of Danny inside...
grinning i guess what he thinks is that "cute" grin of his...

which i no longer think is "cute" in any way shape or form...

file 13

This post has been edited by roxe: Jan 9 2007, 10:52 PM

[Aunt B]

I agree with the rest of you. I wouldn't draw the line at no babysitting. It is so true that pedophiles are crafty. Part of the thrill for them is to get away with molesting a child right in front of other adults. Talk about messing up the kid. I know of cases where it has happend in the same room with the parents. Rather than blaming the perp. the child was angry with the parents for not loving him/her and keeping him/her safe.

Aunt B

[Eddy]

Never in a million years!! Unfortunately we have a convicted and admitted child molester in the family, and although I love him, he will never even meet my boys.

[Nuggie]

Sad, sad, sad. It demonstrates how crafty pedophiles seem to be and how oblivious parents, etc. can be.

One other problem with allowing a child to be around a pedophile, even with the parents there for protection, is that familiarity builds trust in the child especially with the parents' seemingly giving their stamp of approval. Children don't have the developmental level of judgement to see the characteristic dangers that adults can.

Call me paranoid, but this is one of the main reasons why my daughter doesn't go on house visits or sleep-overs at anybody's house (except my parents or my mother-in-law). No exceptions. Period. It's not always about the people who've invited her over, but what if they have friends coming in and out of their house that I don't know anything about? Or what if they leave my child unattended while they do other stuff? See, God only gave me one child and it took me ten years to get her. I'd hate to have to hurt somebody for putting their nasty hands on her. Trust me, BSDA would be taking up collection to pay my bail. For real.

This post has been edited by Nuggie: Jan 11 2007, 02:01 PM

[Johann]

We just heard on the news that 1/3 of all deaf children have been sexually molested under the age of 19, most of them at age 13 here in Iceland, and that similar crimes are committed elsewhere in the world. Why against the deaf children? Because people figure they cannot tell others what has been done to them.

A deaf father has just been sentenced for molesting his own deaf children. The judge was lenient because the father had himself been molested in school when he was a child, so this seemed to him to be as it should be.

How wicked is this world? And are people to know that this is how it should be when the Advent message is presented to them?

This post has been edited by Johann: Jan 11 2007, 03:33 PM

[Ralph]

Call me paranoid, but this is one of the main reasons why my daughter doesn't go on house visits or sleep-overs at anybody's house (except my parents or my mother-in-law). No exceptions. Period. It's not always about the people who've invited her over, but what if they have friends coming in and out of their house that I don't know anything about? Or what if they leave my child unattended while they do other stuff? See, God only gave me one child and it took me ten years to get her. I'd hate to have to hurt somebody for putting their nasty hands on her. Trust me, BSDA would be taking up collection to pay my bail. For real.

You hit on a problem that all of us as parents have had to face. Sometimes it is a real balancing act. Like you, we were very careful who we gave an OK to. Rather than putting a nix on sleepovers, we chose to teach the children what was acceptable and what was unacceptable behavior.
Ya gotta face it, unless we put our children in a wire cage and feed them through a slit in the door, sooner or later, the chances of experimentation are going to be there. At the sexual assault center, we are not concerned if there is not more than two years difference in ages. Did I shock anyone?

[Clay]

the danger from molestation is usually not a stranger but by someone known.... more often than not a relative....

[Ralph]

the danger from molestation is usually not a stranger but by someone known.... more often than not a relative....

Unfortunately you are so right. There usually are red flags if a person recognizes them.

[PrincessDrRe]

I have read that many, if not most sexual abuse, molestation, or whatever you want to call it, is done by family members or friends of the family. I have seen cases where girls were victimized even further by parents and family when they told about it. The children were sacrificed, called liars and crazy, and even sent to psych hospitals as an attempt by the family to avoid dealing with the fact that a husband father, a step father or brother or someone close had molested thier child.

I have also seen cases where men get admitted to psych facilities very likely on the advice of thier attorney, to be treated for "depression" while charges are pending against them. If these men are given psychological testing, they probably show up high on a sociopathic scale, and not particularly depressed. Just a guess.

Dead on! You are correct Skyhook!

Never in a million years!! Unfortunately we have a convicted and admitted child molester in the family, and although I love him, he will never even meet my boys.

..and you as a parent are protecting your children. Anyone else who would allow their children around a declared child molestor are not truthfully protecting their children.

Unfortunately you are so right. There usually are red flags if a person recognizes them.

I got your PM - will answer in a bit...and BTW: you are more on track than you know....