Statement - Alyssa Moore, Linda Shelton's daughter Options

[calvin]

This is simply not true.... that it was "meant to be shared" on any forum..... and it is a real violation of express instructions that were sent out with each copy of this letter where the permission to share was very specifically limited to "ministers and church leaders", and where it was expressly directed to NOT post it on any public forum. I would hope that Calvin would make an exception of not pulling any posts and would pull this one. It was also requested that her name not be used in any discussions on a public forum, but only to identify her as Linda's daughter. That may seem like a minute distinction to some, but one's name is a very important and precious thing, and I am extremely saddened that someone would brazenly go against her express wishes in this regard.


Yes we were, and we shared with you assuming you would honor her and our request to respect her wishes as to distribution. I am exceedingly disappointed in your actions regarding this.

Then Watchbird you are going to have to be disappointed. You did request that this letter not be published here, some request are honored some are not. That’s the way it works. We are way too far into this saga to start protecting people. I find it ironic that you would make such a request since you have been very vocal in your opinion of others associated with this ministry. I suspect some of those individuals would rather not be discussed on BSDA either.

Alyssa put this letter out there, that put it in play for discussion here or anywhere else. Maybe those of you who know Alyssa should let her know that she can’t be so naïve to think that she can have any control over the media to which a communication is distributed or where it may end up…and Watchbird you are not that naïve either.

[simplysaved]

That is not the clinical or spiritual concern...bottom line is Matthew 18 does not refer to IMHO and professional opinion, to abuse or power-based (control) situations; in those instances you do need to have a second person--and physical advocate for emotional support...I stand corrected: The moment that an "alleged victim" tells you "NO" or "STOP" they have come to you one on one...the next step is getting help (i.e. getting another brother/sister involved).

In this situation, an alleged victim would be intimidated by a corporation trying to determine what did or did not happen---their concerns are secondary and totally out of line.

If Alyssa meets with the 3ABN people, she would be "put on trial" as to her truthfullness. She would be in the same position as they attempted to put Linda in when they tried to censure her. Alyssa's words will be twisted if she meets with them. Her words will likely be twisted and/or lied about if she even communicates privately with any of them especially with Danny.

She has spoken.

Thank you for saying that....while I am very sensitive to this kind of situation clinically and otherwise, we have to be very careful what we put out in the public---because when we do, you can't cry foul and demand that certain issues/allegations be off limits...

Perhaps that is why God gave EGW the counsel that we should try to resolve most issues privately and not in public...or as the Bible says more specifically, sometimes we have to allow God to decide what needs to be public...even allowing ourselves to be "defrauded" in something, because the end damage is often unexpected and far more reaching....

Then Watchbird you are going to have to be disappointed. You did request that this letter not be published here, some request are honored some are not. That’s the way it works. We are way too far into this saga to start protecting people. I find it ironic that you would make such a request since you have been very vocal in your opinion of others associated with this ministry. I suspect some of those individuals would rather not be discussed on BSDA either.

Alyssa put this letter out there, that put it in play for discussion here or anywhere else. Maybe those of you who know Alyssa should let her know that she can’t be so naïve to think that she can have any control over the media to which a communication is distributed or where it may end up…and Watchbird you are not that naïve either.

[PeacefulBe]

there is no rule written anywhere that says she is obligated to meet with people from 3abn who is owned and operated by the alleged perp.... and they are stupid for even requesting it..... she needs to file charges, hire a lawyer and let whomever talk to the lawyer....

Which is exactly why I submitted that the venue should be neutral and non-adversarial. I believe that as an alleged victim of this sexual abuse she has a responsibility to herself to file charges and take her power back. But that is my own opinion and I speak from experience. The perve who assaulted me died before I could face him in court and watch him be brought to justice.

[simplysaved]

Agreed...What we sometimes consider the persuit of "justice" may often lead (unintentionally) to exploitation in another area...one in which we cannot protect those who need it the most...

Which is exactly why I submitted that the venue should be neutral and non-adversarial. I believe that as an alleged victim of this sexual abuse she has a responsibility to herself to file charges and take her power back. But that is my own opinion and I speak from experience. The perve who assaulted me died before I could face him in court and watch him be brought to justice.

I pray that you now feel free and safe from harm...

[västergötland]

I wonder if we sometimes deprive people of justice in the name of "protecting" them? Maybe the only person who is really protected by this "protectionism" is the potential "criminal"? An organisation that is presumably built on a foundation of truth has everything to win and nothing to lose from transparency and everything to lose and nothing to win from hiding embarasing things.
This is all embarasing to the church that this has happened and for every step that is taken to push it under the radarscreen of the general public or hide it under the rug, it will be ten times as embarasing when the truth is finaly light up on the hilltop where all truth will eventually end.
It is also my oppinion that those people who will be hurt by this revelation today will be twise as hurt tomorrow if the delay is intentionally caused by probably wellmeaning people. The proverbial paved road to hell...

On the whole, I dont see what anyone with honest intentions could possibly gain by pushing things into the future...

This post has been edited by västergötland: Oct 4 2006, 09:25 AM

[caribbean sda]

Alyssa put this letter out there, that put it in play for discussion here or anywhere else. Maybe those of you who know Alyssa should let her know that she can’t be so naïve to think that she can have any control over the media to which a communication is distributed or where it may end up…and Watchbird you are not that naïve either.

You're right Calvin...before anything is committed to writing and distributed anywhere...the writer should realize that his or her communication has the potential to reach a wider audience than is intended...and if that is unacceptable to him or her, then the choice should be made whether or not to write and send. Anytime something is written down, the chance of it ending up in places other than where it was intended to go is great...(just ask a former congressman from Florida)... Now i'm not saying that we shouldn't be sensitive to the matter currently in discussion, we should...but that's the reality of it

This post has been edited by caribbean sda: Oct 4 2006, 09:29 AM

[Nuggie]

Then Watchbird you are going to have to be disappointed. You did request that this letter not be published here, some request are honored some are not. That’s the way it works. We are way too far into this saga to start protecting people. I find it ironic that you would make such a request since you have been very vocal in your opinion of others associated with this ministry. I suspect some of those individuals would rather not be discussed on BSDA either.

Alyssa put this letter out there, that put it in play for discussion here or anywhere else. Maybe those of you who know Alyssa should let her know that she can’t be so naïve to think that she can have any control over the media to which a communication is distributed or where it may end up…and Watchbird you are not that naïve either.

You're on point as always, Calvin...once this letter was put in circulation it became fair game for discussion anywhere. Whoever's counseling this young lady should have told her that. But now is not the time to pick and choose what should be discussed...folks haven't exactly been circumspect in what they put out there--either directly or through insinuation.

I'm kinda tired of the whole saga, really...think I'll just go back to lurk mode ...carry on...

[simplysaved]

But the concern is that according to watchbird, Allyssa did not want this to become public but to be handled by the church leaders...if that is the case, she has been re-victimized by having this letter posted. And that IMHO is sin and wrong.

As an alleged victim she has the right to her dignity and part of re-gaining control and enpowerment is to be able to choose how, when, and where you share your experience. This would then further take away her power....bottom line it is about the VICTIM and not what outsiders feel is right.

I wonder if we sometimes deprive people of justice in the name of "protecting" them? Maybe the only person who is really protected by this "protectionism" is the potential "criminal"? An organisation that is presumably built on a foundation of truth has everything to win and nothing to lose from transparency and everything to lose and nothing to win from hiding embarasing things.
This is all embarasing to the church that this has happened and for every step that is taken to push it under the radarscreen of the general public or hide it under the rug, it will be ten times as embarasing when the truth is finaly light up on the hilltop where all truth will eventually end.
It is also my oppinion that those people who will be hurt by this revelation today will be twise as hurt tomorrow if the delay is intentionally caused by probably wellmeaning people. The proverbial paved road to hell...

On the whole, I dont see what anyone with honest intentions could possibly gain by pushing things into the future...

This post has been edited by simplysaved: Oct 4 2006, 09:46 AM

[Denny]

But the concern is that according to watchbird, Allyssa did not want this to become public but to be handled by the church leaders...if that is the case, she has been re-victimized by having this letter posted. And that is sin and wrong.

As an alleged victim she has the right to her dignity and part of re-gaining control and enpowerment is to be able to choose how, when, and where you share your experience. This would then further take away her power....bottom line it is about the VICTIM and not what outsiders feel is right.

If this is true I am sorry Ms Moore does not go to the police and report this . It is not the time to go into 'let the church handle it' mode unfortunately we all know what happens when that line is used it tends to mean 'cover it up time and blame the victim'.

This post has been edited by Denny: Oct 4 2006, 09:49 AM

[simplysaved]

This is one of the main reasons victims do not go forward with allegations....I do not presume to know what is true or false here, but if the allegation is true and the alleged victim asked for it to be forwarded only to church leaders and GC...

I would still want the church to be a part of it even if I went to the police....I don't see why it has to be an either or....

But she needed to press charges as a private citizen...

If this is true I am sorry Ms Moore does not go to the police and report this . It is not the time to go into 'let the church handle it' mode unfortunately we all know what happens when that line is used it tends to mean 'cover it up time and blame the victim'.

[Clay]

This is one of the main reasons victims do not go forward with allegations....I do not presume to know what is true or false here, but if the allegation is true and the alleged victim asked for it to be forwarded only to church leaders and GC...

I would still want the church to be a part of it even if I went to the police....I don't see why it has to be an either or....

But she needed to press charges as a private citizen...

asking the church to handle it is sort of like the fox guarding the hen house... something may or may not be done.... go to the police...

[watchbird]

Then Watchbird you are going to have to be disappointed. You did request that this letter not be published here, some request are honored some are not. That’s the way it works. We are way too far into this saga to start protecting people. I find it ironic that you would make such a request since you have been very vocal in your opinion of others associated with this ministry. I suspect some of those individuals would rather not be discussed on BSDA either.

Alyssa put this letter out there, that put it in play for discussion here or anywhere else. Maybe those of you who know Alyssa should let her know that she can’t be so naïve to think that she can have any control over the media to which a communication is distributed or where it may end up…and Watchbird you are not that naïve either.

You are correct. I am not. And on second thoughts today, I am grateful for the time lag that has occurred, and am satisfied that this is the appropriate time to have brought it out. I think the time lag has worked to everyone's advantage, including Alyssa.... as well as those of us who now are freed to explore the topic. The delay has given time to see what others would do with the information.... so we all have better perspectives from which to comment than we did a couple months ago when it first came out.

So thank you for the delay.... and let's move along from here.

[simplysaved]

Says a man (with all do respect) that works out on a regular basis....being a victim is a different ballgame...especially a female one....You need that support from your church support system....

Better yet ask God what to do...and do whatever He says...if He says go straight to the police, go to the police....

asking the church to handle it is sort of like the fox guarding the hen house... something may or may not be done.... go to the police...

[Clay]

Says a man (with all do respect) that works out on a regular basis....being a victim is a different ballgame...especially a female one....You need that support from your church support system....

Better yet ask God what to do...and do whatever He says...if He says go straight to the police, go to the police....

victims male or female want justice.... the church has a history of NOT being supportive, of telling victims NOT to press charges.... as one who is in law enforcement as well as a an advocate for patient rights, I say go to the po po....

[Denny]

Says a man (with all do respect) that works out on a regular basis....being a victim is a different ballgame...especially a female one....You need that support from your church support system....

Better yet ask God what to do...and do whatever He says...if He says go straight to the police, go to the police....

Does one really expect to get support from the perpretors employer that is what the church is in this case - a indirect employer so from the start church is not neutral. Using this as an example being a victim does not mean common sense goes out the window. But like you said Go to God first.

This post has been edited by Denny: Oct 4 2006, 10:02 AM