Could I Have Been A Victim Of Tommy Shelton? Options

[PJMusic]

First of all,I want to say how difficult it is to type this. I have been friends with Tommy's kids for a very long time. They are wonderful kids and I really feel sorry for them for all that they are having to go through. I have nothing to gain by writing this, but feel I should, as I was part of the Ezra congregation and my family was impacted by this as well. Some of you on this board don't believe what has happened, but I can tell you that as a teenager who was in this church, and what I was able to see, there is truth to these allegations.

I first started attending Ezra Church of God in 1974. I remember Tommy Shelton coming to my house and inviting my family to church. I was outside playing when this happened. From then, until 1987 I attended the church, except for about a span of a year or so between that time, during the mid-80's when the scandal hit.

I started attending the Ezra Church of God Christian School when I was 13. I was a classmate of Brad Dunning, Duane, Roger, Scott, Ricky, Greg, etc. These guys were my friends also, as we played basketball together, sang together, etc. I knew Ricky since he was about 5 or 6. Greg was one of my best friends.

I also recall the day when Brad stopped going to the school. Around this time I had heard rumors of what might be happening.

I watched as the split of the church took place in mid-80's and watched as my family was shunned by the church as they had sided with the few who believed the accusations were true. Many mean things came my family's way after all this happened. My family was friends with Sherry and others who were against Tommy. We had stopped attending the church for a time, although I myself went back, because of my involvement with different parts of the church at that time, like music and I lived with a family that attended the church as well. I remember well the "nervous breakdown" Tommy had. I also watched as certain teen guys seemed to always be with him, driving with him, pulling up in the same vehicle with him. I would watch as they would just follow behind and go straight back to Tommy's office before evening church service would begin. I even remember the song Tommy wrote during this breakdown called Sometimes I Just Want to go Home. I even remember the lyrics.

For some unknown reason in around 1984 or 85, Tommy bought me a new pair of black shoes. I remember us going up to Payless to get them. I felt good wearing them, because my other shoes were not that great and getting new shoes for me was really unaffordable with me family.

I have been on a trip to a music studio in Flora. I also was offered to drive but declined as I didn't feel comfortable. I remember being at the studio. (Their fridge only had TAB soda). For some reason, I was allowed to miss school to go on this trip.
On the drive back, Tommy asked me a strange question. He asked me if I wanted to ask him some personal questions. This made me feel quite uncomfortable, even at that age. I was not close to anyone, even my parents, so right away did not feel right even saying anything personal. The best thing I could come up with was "Do you think it's ok to have a girlfriend?". After his quick explanation of if it was ok (can't remember the answer), he pressed me once more for personal questions, which I had none I wanted to ask. It just all seemed awkward to me.

I have thus far never spoken of what I am about to write to anyone, but in light of what has come up, I feel I had to bring it up. I didn't feel comfortable discussing that type of thing back then so I remained quiet. I did not want confrontation.
I myself was never a victim. However I was told by one of the guys who has not come forward of what had happened to him. He told me once about something Tommy says to help gain trust. It's a story of David and Jonathan, and how the bible talks about a "special love" between them. Tommy then compares this to him and this guy. He then tells me that after that, Tommy asks for this guy to do something for him. This all took place in the mid 80's, when I was about 15 or 16. I won't go in detail as to what was asked and done further to him, but it is along the lines of Duane's letter.

I am not sure why I stayed with Ezra even after my family left due to the scandal that started. My own family was disappointed in me when they found out that I had started attending there again. I already knew the things against Tommy at this time, but still I stayed, maybe feeling that as long as it never happened to me, then it's ok. The only friends I ever knew attended there. Without going there, I had no friends. I had always had this jealousy at the time that I was never included in anything that the other guys had, like being asked to sing, or participate in things. Maybe it was because I didn't sing good. I played piano, which ironically was inspired to me by Tommy.

As for Danny, well I can only give personal views on him. I didn't really care to much for him, as he did construction on the school and would play basketball with the team during P.E. He was a good shooter though but on a personal level, well he seemed quite demanding and cocky.

I really don't know what to think about all this. Some relief perhaps as I know of victims who have not come forward, many who were my friends. I only hope that something finally gets done so there can be some closure.

I am not religious, and as of now have not intention of being religious, although I have some values. My mind is always in gospel music even though I could never live that lifestyle. But I do hope that the right thing is done. I truly feel that I could have been a victim because there are similarities as to what favors were done for me to gain trust that had also happened to my friends. Tommy is a very convincing individual and knows how to gain trust. As ne who once attended Ezra and a friend of these victims from Ezra, we do need closure.

[wwjd]

As ne who once attended Ezra and a friend of these victims from Ezra, we do need closure.

I can't imagine who told you that you would receive closure by posting on the internet. This site only brings contention and separation. The allegations against 3abn are not true but the people involved will use anything and anyone to bring it down. I am sorry if you were told that posting here will resolve anything. It won't.



This post has been edited by calvin: Feb 19 2007, 10:32 PM

[lookin4truth]

I can't imagine who told you that you would receive closure by posting on the internet. The allegations against 3abn are not true but the people involved will use anything and anyone to bring it down.

WWJD,

I am not trying to give you a hard time. I was just wondering why you would read this letter, and then say that the allegations against 3ABN are not true.

You did not say the allegations against Tommy are not true, and that is what this post was all about.

This post has been edited by Clay: Feb 19 2007, 09:50 PM

[Richard Sherwin]

Welcome PJMusic to BSDA. There is much to be gained from writing things down and getting things off your chest. Hopefully you will be made welcome here, dispite a few of those that will put you down.

Richard

First of all,I want to say how difficult it is to type this. I have been friends with Tommy's kids for a very long time. They are wonderful kids and I really feel sorry for them for all that they are having to go through. I have nothing to gain by writing this, but feel I should, as I was part of the Ezra congregation and my family was impacted by this as well. Some of you on this board don't believe what has happened, but I can tell you that as a teenager who was in this church, and what I was able to see, there is truth to these allegations.

I first started attending Ezra Church of God in 1974. I remember Tommy Shelton coming to my house and inviting my family to church. I was outside playing when this happened. From then, until 1987 I attended the church, except for about a span of a year or so between that time, during the mid-80's when the scandal hit.

I started attending the Ezra Church of God Christian School when I was 13. I was a classmate of Brad Dunning, Duane, Roger, Scott, Ricky, Greg, etc. These guys were my friends also, as we played basketball together, sang together, etc. I knew Ricky since he was about 5 or 6. Greg was one of my best friends.

I also recall the day when Brad stopped going to the school. Around this time I had heard rumors of what might be happening.

I watched as the split of the church took place in mid-80's and watched as my family was shunned by the church as they had sided with the few who believed the accusations were true. Many mean things came my family's way after all this happened. My family was friends with Sherry and others who were against Tommy. We had stopped attending the church for a time, although I myself went back, because of my involvement with different parts of the church at that time, like music and I lived with a family that attended the church as well. I remember well the "nervous breakdown" Tommy had. I also watched as certain teen guys seemed to always be with him, driving with him, pulling up in the same vehicle with him. I would watch as they would just follow behind and go straight back to Tommy's office before evening church service would begin. I even remember the song Tommy wrote during this breakdown called Sometimes I Just Want to go Home. I even remember the lyrics.

For some unknown reason in around 1984 or 85, Tommy bought me a new pair of black shoes. I remember us going up to Payless to get them. I felt good wearing them, because my other shoes were not that great and getting new shoes for me was really unaffordable with me family.

I have been on a trip to a music studio in Flora. I also was offered to drive but declined as I didn't feel comfortable. I remember being at the studio. (Their fridge only had TAB soda). For some reason, I was allowed to miss school to go on this trip.
On the drive back, Tommy asked me a strange question. He asked me if I wanted to ask him some personal questions. This made me feel quite uncomfortable, even at that age. I was not close to anyone, even my parents, so right away did not feel right even saying anything personal. The best thing I could come up with was "Do you think it's ok to have a girlfriend?". After his quick explanation of if it was ok (can't remember the answer), he pressed me once more for personal questions, which I had none I wanted to ask. It just all seemed awkward to me.

I have thus far never spoken of what I am about to write to anyone, but in light of what has come up, I feel I had to bring it up. I didn't feel comfortable discussing that type of thing back then so I remained quiet. I did not want confrontation.
I myself was never a victim. However I was told by one of the guys who has not come forward of what had happened to him. He told me once about something Tommy says to help gain trust. It's a story of David and Jonathan, and how the bible talks about a "special love" between them. Tommy then compares this to him and this guy. He then tells me that after that, Tommy asks for this guy to do something for him. This all took place in the mid 80's, when I was about 15 or 16. I won't go in detail as to what was asked and done further to him, but it is along the lines of Duane's letter.

I am not sure why I stayed with Ezra even after my family left due to the scandal that started. My own family was disappointed in me when they found out that I had started attending there again. I already knew the things against Tommy at this time, but still I stayed, maybe feeling that as long as it never happened to me, then it's ok. The only friends I ever knew attended there. Without going there, I had no friends. I had always had this jealousy at the time that I was never included in anything that the other guys had, like being asked to sing, or participate in things. Maybe it was because I didn't sing good. I played piano, which ironically was inspired to me by Tommy.

As for Danny, well I can only give personal views on him. I didn't really care to much for him, as he did construction on the school and would play basketball with the team during P.E. He was a good shooter though but on a personal level, well he seemed quite demanding and cocky.

I really don't know what to think about all this. Some relief perhaps as I know of victims who have not come forward, many who were my friends. I only hope that something finally gets done so there can be some closure.

I am not religious, and as of now have not intention of being religious, although I have some values. My mind is always in gospel music even though I could never live that lifestyle. But I do hope that the right thing is done. I truly feel that I could have been a victim because there are similarities as to what favors were done for me to gain trust that had also happened to my friends. Tommy is a very convincing individual and knows how to gain trust. As ne who once attended Ezra and a friend of these victims from Ezra, we do need closure.

[wwjd]

WWJD,

I am not trying to give you a hard time. I was just wondering why you would read this letter, and then say that the allegations against 3ABN are not true.

You did not say the allegations against Tommy are not true, and that is what this post was all about.

Because unlike others here, I don't comment on things that I don't know the actual facts or details involved. I do know about many of the false accusations thrown at 3abn because, under the circumstances, I have made it my business to know.

[PJMusic]

WWJD,

Honestly, I really don't care about 3ABN. Sure I've been there when it first started, but I really only watch because I see people on there I know personally, people I grew up with, and can tell my wife and show her that I know them. I even wrote a song once that someone sang on there. However, this was not about 3ABN though thus the topic.

[IMM]

Welcome, PJMusic. Telling your story must have taken a lot of courage.

I can't imagine who told you that you would receive closure by posting on the internet.

edited for content..... not appropriate......

WWJD, if you are not a victim, a parent of a victim, or a professional counselor, how can you decide what will bring closure to someone else?

[Rosyroi]

First of all,I want to say how difficult it is to type this. I have been friends with Tommy's kids for a very long time. They are wonderful kids and I really feel sorry for them for all that they are having to go through. I have nothing to gain by writing this, but feel I should, as I was part of the Ezra congregation and my family was impacted by this as well. Some of you on this board don't believe what has happened, but I can tell you that as a teenager who was in this church, and what I was able to see, there is truth to these allegations.

I first started attending Ezra Church of God in 1974. I remember Tommy Shelton coming to my house and inviting my family to church. I was outside playing when this happened. From then, until 1987 I attended the church, except for about a span of a year or so between that time, during the mid-80's when the scandal hit.

I started attending the Ezra Church of God Christian School when I was 13. I was a classmate of Brad Dunning, Duane, Roger, Scott, Ricky, Greg, etc. These guys were my friends also, as we played basketball together, sang together, etc. I knew Ricky since he was about 5 or 6. Greg was one of my best friends.

I also recall the day when Brad stopped going to the school. Around this time I had heard rumors of what might be happening.

I watched as the split of the church took place in mid-80's and watched as my family was shunned by the church as they had sided with the few who believed the accusations were true. Many mean things came my family's way after all this happened. My family was friends with Sherry and others who were against Tommy. We had stopped attending the church for a time, although I myself went back, because of my involvement with different parts of the church at that time, like music and I lived with a family that attended the church as well. I remember well the "nervous breakdown" Tommy had. I also watched as certain teen guys seemed to always be with him, driving with him, pulling up in the same vehicle with him. I would watch as they would just follow behind and go straight back to Tommy's office before evening church service would begin. I even remember the song Tommy wrote during this breakdown called Sometimes I Just Want to go Home. I even remember the lyrics.

For some unknown reason in around 1984 or 85, Tommy bought me a new pair of black shoes. I remember us going up to Payless to get them. I felt good wearing them, because my other shoes were not that great and getting new shoes for me was really unaffordable with me family.

I have been on a trip to a music studio in Flora. I also was offered to drive but declined as I didn't feel comfortable. I remember being at the studio. (Their fridge only had TAB soda). For some reason, I was allowed to miss school to go on this trip.
On the drive back, Tommy asked me a strange question. He asked me if I wanted to ask him some personal questions. This made me feel quite uncomfortable, even at that age. I was not close to anyone, even my parents, so right away did not feel right even saying anything personal. The best thing I could come up with was "Do you think it's ok to have a girlfriend?". After his quick explanation of if it was ok (can't remember the answer), he pressed me once more for personal questions, which I had none I wanted to ask. It just all seemed awkward to me.

I have thus far never spoken of what I am about to write to anyone, but in light of what has come up, I feel I had to bring it up. I didn't feel comfortable discussing that type of thing back then so I remained quiet. I did not want confrontation.
I myself was never a victim. However I was told by one of the guys who has not come forward of what had happened to him. He told me once about something Tommy says to help gain trust. It's a story of David and Jonathan, and how the bible talks about a "special love" between them. Tommy then compares this to him and this guy. He then tells me that after that, Tommy asks for this guy to do something for him. This all took place in the mid 80's, when I was about 15 or 16. I won't go in detail as to what was asked and done further to him, but it is along the lines of Duane's letter.

I am not sure why I stayed with Ezra even after my family left due to the scandal that started. My own family was disappointed in me when they found out that I had started attending there again. I already knew the things against Tommy at this time, but still I stayed, maybe feeling that as long as it never happened to me, then it's ok. The only friends I ever knew attended there. Without going there, I had no friends. I had always had this jealousy at the time that I was never included in anything that the other guys had, like being asked to sing, or participate in things. Maybe it was because I didn't sing good. I played piano, which ironically was inspired to me by Tommy.

As for Danny, well I can only give personal views on him. I didn't really care to much for him, as he did construction on the school and would play basketball with the team during P.E. He was a good shooter though but on a personal level, well he seemed quite demanding and cocky.

I really don't know what to think about all this. Some relief perhaps as I know of victims who have not come forward, many who were my friends. I only hope that something finally gets done so there can be some closure.

I am not religious, and as of now have not intention of being religious, although I have some values. My mind is always in gospel music even though I could never live that lifestyle. But I do hope that the right thing is done. I truly feel that I could have been a victim because there are similarities as to what favors were done for me to gain trust that had also happened to my friends. Tommy is a very convincing individual and knows how to gain trust. As ne who once attended Ezra and a friend of these victims from Ezra, we do need closure.

Thank you for posting in BSDA. Welcome
Thank you for your story. You are very brave for comming forth to give your TRUTH story. You don't have to be religious to have a close communion with Jesus. HE is still guiding you with your love for gospel music. Carry on. I will be praying for you.
Rosyroi

[roxe]

Welcome to BSDA, PJMusic!!

thank you for your courage in telling your story... and even tho you say you could have been a victim, it appears to me that you are a "verbal" victim... praise the Lord it wasn't worse for you.

IMO, you don't need to answer anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable... your story speaks for itself.

God Bless!

[Rosyroi]

I can't imagine who told you that you would receive closure by posting on the internet.

edited for content..... not appropriate......

Why should I not be surprised. I imagine Jesus crying over that post. Because I am.
Rosyroi

[watchbird]

First of all,I want to say how difficult it is to type this. . . .

. . . . . .

I really don't know what to think about all this. Some relief perhaps as I know of victims who have not come forward, many who were my friends. I only hope that something finally gets done so there can be some closure.

I am not religious, and as of now have not intention of being religious, although I have some values. My mind is always in gospel music even though I could never live that lifestyle. But I do hope that the right thing is done. I truly feel that I could have been a victim because there are similarities as to what favors were done for me to gain trust that had also happened to my friends. Tommy is a very convincing individual and knows how to gain trust. As ne who once attended Ezra and a friend of these victims from Ezra, we do need closure.

Blessings on you PJM for bringing your experience, your confirmation of the experiences of others, and most of all your own need for closure and community to us here on BSDA.

I know feelings similar to yours, as I too sometimes wonder how it was.... in a place and time far removed from yours.... that I escaped without becoming a victim as I learned years later some of my friends had been by a certain sexual predator. There is a feeling of wonderment that still haunts me when I think about it... when I look back and see new meaning in old experiences that either completely baffled me at the time or that I realized years later I had completely misread at the time.

How fortunate I was... how fortunate you are... to have been protected even when you were not fully aware of being so protected. And how fortunate your friends are now that you have stepped up to stand beside them affirming their experiences as you have done.

Surely.... as one gives, so shall it be given to him again... and in your attempts here to help bring closure to your friends who were more directly victimized than you, you, yourself, will indeed be blessed and will find closure for your own wounds of the spirit and psyche.

As you may have already seen, there are those here who will harrass and speak ill of you. But by doing so, they also will come under the law of "as one gives, so shall it be given to him again", and those who give such taunts and barbs as some pass out, will indeed receive as they have given, and by stepping forward as you have, you will help them reveal the kinds of persons which they are.... and this also will help bring closure to the victims as their abusers are stripped of their false facades and stand revealed for what they are.

Blessings upon you, may God give you peace, and may He draw you to Himself through this new experience of fellowshipping with those who are working to expose evil and bring deliverance to the abused and oppressed.

Once upon a time. . . . . . . .



At a different place
And in a different age
I scattered words
Upon a page . . .

Lest I forget . . .

To rage
Against the falling
Of a blade.



About that other time
And need,
From scattered words
Upon the page
I read . . .

Lest I forget . . .

To bleed

With you
Whose wounds
Are not on view . . .
With you . . .
The walking
Wounded.


May your sojourn with us here bring peace and healing for the wounds you and your friends have held out of sight all these many years...... .....

[roxe]

edited post...

i refuse to get caught up in

This post has been edited by roxe: Feb 19 2007, 10:12 PM

[IMM]

WB, that was touching. Thanks for sharing it.

[roxe]

WB, that was touching. Thanks for sharing it.

[erik]

First of all,I want to say how difficult it is to type this. I have been friends with Tommy's kids for a very long time. They are wonderful kids and I really feel sorry for them for all that they are having to go through. I have nothing to gain by writing this, but feel I should, as I was part of the Ezra congregation and my family was impacted by this as well. Some of you on this board don't believe what has happened, but I can tell you that as a teenager who was in this church, and what I was able to see, there is truth to these allegations.

Thank you for having the courage to stand up and tell the truth.

I am proud of you, and will pray that you and your friends will find the healing you need.


Erik

I can't imagine who told you that you would receive closure by posting on the internet. This site only brings contention and separation. The allegations against 3abn are not true but the people involved will use anything and anyone to bring it down. I am sorry if you were told that posting here will resolve anything. It won't.

WWJD,

SO are calling this guy a lair?

If so what Proof do you have that he is lying?

THE problem for 3abn is this WWJD, tommy problem is now their problem because they defended him with out knowing all the facts.

If the charges that these young men are bring forward have no truth to them why in Tommy and carol's letters do neither of them list the guys names and say that they are lying, instead they went after a fellow pastor?


Just give some anwser and thought to these questions?


Erik