Maybe, It Is More Smoke Then Fire? Options

[watchbird]

thank you Fran for your very kind words. i agree with you 100%, and have wished i could have said similar things at times - but refrained cuz i didn't want to start WW3,4,5&6!

boldings above in the quoted post are mine...

I'm surprised and dissappointed, roxe, that you would call those words that you bolded "kind words". As for my understanding the emotions of those "grieving" for 3abn and the church.... I don't think you understand the grieving process that I have been going through for the last three years as I learned of more and move victims of abuse.... and as one after another of my illusions that the church would step up to what I see as their responsibility as shepherds of the flock have been swept away.

Nor do you understand my emotions as I saw person after person come on BSDA and attack those who were attempting to expose evil where ever it might be found... trying... and in some cases succeeding... in building guilt complexes in those who were being thus attacked.

Nor do you understand my understanding as to how severe will be the trauma for those who either are not exposed gradually to the things we have learned.... or who have denied that such things exist.... when they finally are forced suddenly to face the facts of what lies behind the facades of those they have watched and adored and felt they knew intimately because of the frequency which they "visited" their living rooms.

Had you been here from the beginning, you might have recalled that I was one of the first ones to call attention to the reality of this grieving process that would have to be faced by many... and urged this as one of the important values in having an open site like BSDA so as many as possible could be warned ahead of the eventual exposure time.

Grieving ... and even being torn between love for the abuser and pity for the abused.... is a natural and necessary part of being a sensitive loving person. But when this is spoken of publicly in ways which do not give positive recognition to those who make some moves toward righting the wrongs... then it becomes... not merely an expresion of warmth and caring... but one more blow on the already wounded psyche of the abused... who need and should be allowed to express an emotion of rejoicing that deliverance and vindication may be "just around the corner". And when it moves on to fostering "guilt" for having that anticipatory joy in the prospects of freedom from fear... then my own sensitivities are aroused and I feel for and with the abused rather than for those who must grieve for their lost illusions.

And my mind goes to scripture... way back to the story of Absolom... who sat in the gate, winning the hearts of the people away from his father, David, the King of Israel... and who organized a revolt that drove David from his throne and into exile.... and to the faithful warriors in Israel who stayed loyal to David, followed him into exile and then fought... some giving their very lives... to put down the rebellion and return David to the throne.

Picture with me the scene as a messenger brings David the news that his army has been successful.. and his rebellious son has been slain.. And David breaks out into a lament for his son.... Oh Absolom my son... ... but read it in 2 Sam 19....

1 Joab was told, "The king is weeping and mourning for Absalom." 2 And for the whole army the victory that day was turned into mourning, because on that day the troops heard it said, "The king is grieving for his son." 3 The men stole into the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle. 4 The king covered his face and cried aloud, "O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!"

5 Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, "Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. 6 You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead.

The wise man has said... there is a time for rejoicing and a time for weeping. And the time for weeping is not as a response to news that there is progress being made towards routing out the evil from the camp. Nor did it prove that David was "cold" when he heeded the words of Joab, and went out to thank his returning men for the victory they had achieved.

[Rosyroi]

Problem Solved!

I see there is a thread started in Adventism: Theology and Related Subjects addressing these issues. Off topic bear moving in there. Wait! It was just seen leaving the "Sista Talk" section heading for "Aging Gracefully"....

-bear

After getting all that smoke in my eyes, YogusBearus I needed that... Thanks!!

Rosyroi

[Whitey]

“Maybe it is more smoke than fire?” seems to be the initial sentiments of sdaguy who started this thread. The subject is the Shelton ongoing drama. He admitted to being a novice on sizing up the allegations toward DS and org for misconduct, injustice done against others, misappropriation of donated moneies, and breaking the adultry law.
Good advice was given by experienced ones to read and read all these topic threads pertaining to ongoing discussion of the 3ABN saga. It is a good ‘ole patriotic American attitude to approach a matter with “I just believe in the U.S. Constitutional way, the “presumption of innocents!” It is DUE PROCESS I am defending.” Those of us having read all the threads have had a process shown us of fair hearings of Eyewitnesses who have spoken on this Forum from boths sides about the fire admidst the smoke. Documents have been brought forth on this Forum for all to read to inform why this is fire is now flaming from years long smoldering embers. Those who are in the know have spoken on this BSDA Forum. The grassroots of Adventism have expressed their dismay and grief at what has been going on and as yet not been healed.

Gregory and Watchbird are sound minded equitable reporters who have stablized discussions that were going off into personal emotional eruptions many a times. The Rodney Vega story warrants it’s own forum thread and just distracts from the Sheldon travesty, even though the issue of merciless injustice are to be found in both cases. I missed the link from whatever Gregory and Watchbird mentioned that triggered off Fran’s intense reaction of defending her right to grieve over the Sheldon drama abuse. However, …. it was done for a good cause. It showed up in Fran a reflection through words of what hundreds of us grassroot SDA’s are feeling presently. We could read, rejoice and respond with a ‘Yes, that’s it’ and feel understood in some minute way. Thank you Fran for being passionate and being a fighting defender.

Now it was Watchbird who just came through our monitor and talked out from her heart to us. The strength of her words mirrored the strength of her soul's agony about this issue that has oppressed the Church.... of which we are living stones who feel too about all this in a bad way. W-bird is one of deep feelings as we see by her candid epistle. Obviously because of years of sanctified growth in self-control she needn't act the foolish ways of unrestrained sentimentalim in crisis problems. Her words are weighed before entering her arsenal of verbal campaigns. Let's avoid any indications that she be a cold fish toward what goes on in our Church. I for one appreciate her and her actions.



[font=Comic Sans Ms]

[PeacefulBe]

Whitey,

While our opinions differ slightly on the value of bringing the AHS in to this discussion briefly, I stand and applaud all of your other observations!

Nicely put!