Danny Shelton Marries....again, 3abn Options

[Observer]

One thing we don't know.

Since Nathan, Linda's son, was in Norway at the doctor's clinic, the phone records to that clinic will never show who was actually on the other end of the phone line in Norway. Linda could have been talking to her own son who was in Norway at the exact, same location as the doctor. The phone records will never show who Linda was talking to most of the time.

What if she's talking to her own child most of that time? That time would quickly add up. In fact, it would be unusual if she wasn't calling her own son, Nathan, on the phone.

Just phone records to a clinic in Norway prove nothing, under the circumstances. If I were in that clinic, my mother would be calling me.

I just wanted to point out that there could be a legitimate reason for some of those phone calls and for them to end up being quite lengthy.

You who are mothers, think for a minute. You have a son who has a problem with illegal drugs. You have him in a treatment program that you hope will help him. Now you are asked to chose between your biological son, and your husband! What would you do?

Some of your reading these posts have relatives who have been such treatment programs. You probably know that the greatest success is achieved when the entire family becomes involved in the program.

Mrs. Shelton was talking to the doctor because she needed to be involved in her son's treatment. She was talking to him on the telephone because she had returned to the United States to be with her husband.

Mrs. Shelton had made the choice to do the best that she could for both her son, and her husband. she did not chose one over the other. She chose both. She lost her husband.

Proably, Mr. Shelton has no understanding of the requirements of these treatment programs. Or, perhaps, he was looking for a way ourt of a marrige that no longer was meaningful to him. If so, get rid of Mrs. Shelton, and look for another.

This post has been edited by Observer: May 6 2006, 08:55 PM

[princessdi]

His actions speaks of something even worse. He has yet again married someone with chidlren. He spent all those years with Linda's son and show abolutely no compassion, let alone fatherly love for that child. I don't know anything about Brandi, but i would not marry such a man who would treat a child like that. Women always, think, "he won't do me like that", but it is a lie. She had better pray her girls grow up with no major issues. He will disown them just as quick.

You who are mothers, think for a minute. You have a son who has a problem with illegal drugs. You have him in a treatment program that you hope will help him. Now you are asked to chose between your biological son, and your husband! What would you do?

Some of your reading these posts have relatives who have been such treatment programs. You probably know that the greatest success is achieved when the entire family becomes involved in the program.

Mrs. Shelton was talking to the doctor because she needed to be involved in her son's treatment. She was talking to him on the telephone because she had returned to the United States to be with her husband.

Mrs. Shelton had made the choice to do the best that she could for both her son, and her husband. she did not chose one over the other. She chose both. She lost her husband.

Proably, Mr. Shelton has no understanding of the requirements of these treatment programs. Or, perhaps, he was looking for a way ourt of a marrige that no longer was meaningful to him. If so, get rid of Mrs. Shelton, and look for another.

[PrincessDrRe]

His actions speaks of something even worse. He has yet again married someone with chidlren. He spent all those years with Linda's son and show abolutely no compassion, let alone fatherly love for that child. I don't know anything about Brandi, but i would not marry such a man who would treat a child like that. Women always, think, "he won't do me like that", but it is a lie. She had better pray her girls grow up with no major issues. He will disown them just as quick.

You know - this struck me as odd also.

Where was he when he was addicted? I had heard that he wasn't all that "attached" to the child growing up....and did little to "nurture" his upbringing....

Is this true?

[Prisca]

[quote name='Observer' date='May 7 2006, 02:53 AM' post='129572']
You who are mothers, think for a minute. You have a son who has a problem with illegal drugs. You have him in a treatment program that you hope will help him. Now you are asked to chose between your biological son, and your husband! What would you do?

You have touched a point that I think about a lot when I hear the "Linda" side. Especially in marriages where the 'child' is not the birth child of both spouses...it can be a terrible, terrible situation. One in which the woman or the man is forced to choose between the 'child' and the spouse. Lord help if the spouse doesn't 'like' the child or has another method for discipline or treatment or dislikes the relationship, etc.....and the birth parent differs. It can get reallllly sticky. I have seen problems like this even when the child was natural to Both so how much more a 'blended' family that did NOT blend.

This post has been edited by Prisca: May 8 2006, 05:50 AM

[Zephyr]

I was so curious so I listened to and watched thye 3ABN Ten Commandments Weekend show.
Interestingly the piano on the dais hid the Fourth Commandment (the Roman numbersals correspodning to the commandments were carved or painted into the background) ...I wa so tickled by that.

I was curious to hear the speaker on the Adultery commandments. John Lomacang actually was very straightforward. In fact if John Lomacang believes what he preached, he would have been the first to confront Danny or let his views be known about the marriage of danny and Brandi.

I have a strong feeling John has been reading BSDA.

[Guest_statrei_*]

I have a strong feeling John has been reading BSDA.

But he was wrong when he said polygamy was a sin. We are too quick to burden the Creator with Western norms.

[Chez]

You who are mothers, think for a minute. You have a son who has a problem with illegal drugs. You have him in a treatment program that you hope will help him. Now you are asked to chose between your biological son, and your husband! What would you do?

Some of your reading these posts have relatives who have been such treatment programs. You probably know that the greatest success is achieved when the entire family becomes involved in the program.

Mrs. Shelton was talking to the doctor because she needed to be involved in her son's treatment. She was talking to him on the telephone because she had returned to the United States to be with her husband.

Mrs. Shelton had made the choice to do the best that she could for both her son, and her husband. she did not chose one over the other. She chose both. She lost her husband.

Proably, Mr. Shelton has no understanding of the requirements of these treatment programs. Or, perhaps, he was looking for a way ourt of a marrige that no longer was meaningful to him. If so, get rid of Mrs. Shelton, and look for another.

Probably, Mr. Shelton didn't care. I was curious about his relationship with Nathan, Linda's son. I am a mother. Don't make me choose between a man (other than Jesus) and my son. My priority list is: God is first, next my children, after that my husband, and then everybody else take a number.

[Prisca]

Probably, Mr. Shelton didn't care. I was curious about his relationship with Nathan, Linda's son. I am a mother. Don't make me choose between a man (other than Jesus) and my son. My priority list is: God is first, next my children, after that my husband, and then everybody else take a number.

...and can't you see that would be a problem for a man who doesn't have a good relationship with your son? Not saying that that was the case, but it often is. Some husbands would adjust that priorty list....Husband, God, children and THEN everybody else takes a number.

[NormF]

You who are mothers, think for a minute. You have a son who has a problem with illegal drugs. You have him in a treatment program that you hope will help him. Now you are asked to chose between your biological son, and your husband! What would you do?

Some of you reading these posts have relatives who have been such treatment programs. You probably know that the greatest success is achieved when the entire family becomes involved in the program.

Mrs. Shelton was talking to the doctor because she needed to be involved in her son's treatment. She was talking to him on the telephone because she had returned to the United States to be with her husband.

Mrs. Shelton had made the choice to do the best that she could for both her son, and her husband. she did not chose one over the other. She chose both. She lost her husband.

Probably, Mr. Shelton has no understanding of the requirements of these treatment programs. Or, perhaps, he was looking for a way ourt of a marrige that no longer was meaningful to him. If so, get rid of Mrs. Shelton, and look for another.

Observer, I couldn't agree with you more! From the get-go, this was off on the wrong foot. In October of '04, I posted the following in Club Adventist on this very topic. I still think what I said then is so. Allow me, if you will, to repeat it here:

One of the sorry truths about life is that people are people first and Christians later. Christians are not callous and self-centered, but people certainly can be.

I look at that whole mess, and I think to myself about how many times Danny has talked about his first wife and his pain over losing her, about his kids, and how he has his daughter and other family members involved with the network ... as one big family, and he's so proud of that. And he expected Linda to stand by his side and hold his hand and say yes to all this and affirm it. And she did it. But how much did you ever hear about Linda's family and kids? When did he ever brag on them, or share how proud he was to be a father to them, too? I never even knew those kids' names until this. And I learned it here [on Club Adventist], not from 3ABN. When you blend families, it has to become "us and ours," (period, that's all) ... not "yours and mine," or worse, "I have kids" [only].

What should have happened is that Danny should have been as concerned over her kids as she was. When trouble developed, as the father, he should have said, 'We have a problem here. What can we do together to meet and deal with it? Linda, you shouldn't have to face this alone; how can I help you find a solution?' Then he should have been working as hard as, or harder than, her to do so.

Instead of becoming jealous when she spent long hours on the phone with a doctor, agonizing over what to do and how to do it, he should have been the one on the phone. Not just once, but every time. And then he should have been spending all the more time with his wife giving her in turn the comfort and support she deserved, passing it on, sharing their successes and failures as they dealt with this, and working with her, as a team. This was theirs, not just hers; they should have been doing it together.

If a team is what made 3ABN what it was, shouldn't that same teamwork effort have been applied just as vigorously to this joint family problem? And wasn't it just as important, even more so, than was 3ABN itself? A man's wife and family come second only to God in importance. Those are not just her kids anymore, they're his too. The workplace occupation is several notches on down the ladder below that.

And it's not a question of adoption, and have her kids been adopted or not? That's a whole 'nother issue. They're a family now, and they have to act like one, regardless of how legal chips fall. If you fail to do that, you've got a ticking time bomb. You can't fail at making a unified family and make the marital relationship succeed.

Yes, that's a plural "you" in the last sentence. Both of them are involved. But I see most of this lying at Danny's door. If he had been handling the matter in the way I just outlined, there's no way he could ever have even thought of being jealous ... or callous, or indifferent. It wouldn't even have entered his mind.

My, my, my... All I can say is,

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

By the way, my suggestion that Danny should have been the one on the phone to the doctor is not to show a method of isolating her from the doctor, but to illustrate how he should have been leading out in their son's care. In line with that, I would think that joint calls and calls by her only when circumstances might have prevented the other alternatives would have been completely appropriate as well in a scenario like this. Jointly, their love and their desire to help their child should have been what funded everything they were doing. A "need" for limits and isolation over phone calls would be a moot point had it happened this way.

Hindsight today suggests very, very strongly that Danny was looking for another Mrs. Shelton well before this medical issue came up.

Things happen for a reason. In this world, causes precede effects ... every time.

Regards,
Norm

This post has been edited by NormF: May 8 2006, 07:57 PM

[PaperTigers]

Hindsight today suggests very, very strongly that Danny was looking for another Mrs. Shelton well before this medical issue came up.

Things happen for a reason. In this world, causes precede effects ... every time.

Regards,
Norm

I couldn't have said it any better Norm!

[Johann]

- - -

I look at that whole mess, and I think to myself about how many times Danny has talked about his first wife and his pain over losing her, about his kids, and how he has his daughter and other family members involved with the network ... as one big family, and he's so proud of that. And he expected Linda to stand by his side and hold his hand and say yes to all this and affirm it. And she did it. But how much did you ever hear about Linda's family and kids? When did he ever brag on them, or share how proud he was to be a father to them, too? I never even knew those kids' names until this. And I learned it here [on Club Adventist], not from 3ABN. When you blend families, it has to become "us and ours," (period, that's all) ... not "yours and mine," or worse, "I have kids" [only].

- - -
Things happen for a reason. In this world, causes precede effects ... every time.

Regards,
Norm

What you say, Norm, reminds me again of the time when we were crossing the bridge between Sweden and Denmark in the fall of 2003. My wife, Irmgard, who died in 2005, was driving and on the back seat were Tommy, Danny, and Linda Shelton, when Irmgard asked Linda about her children. Linda first told us about her daughter, and then about Nathan, whom she also loved so dearly. Then she told us that her songs were written for Nathan.

When I saw and heard Danny's reaction I breathed a silent prayer:

- Lord, save their marriage!

Later I discovered that their marriage was not only my concern. Some of those who most vehemently support Danny's actions today, knew that the marriage could not be saved, and that Danny was looking for a convenient way to get rid of Linda.

This post has been edited by Johann: May 8 2006, 09:10 PM

[Panama_Pete]

Some of those who most vehemently support Danny's actions today, knew that the marriage could not be saved, and that Danny was looking for a convenient way to get rid of Linda.

Sadly, I came to the conclusion that they went along with the solution.

This post has been edited by Panama_Pete: May 8 2006, 11:50 PM

[PrincessDrRe]

Could it be said that those that "went along with" / "go along with" the deception are jes as guilty? Even if it is for the "good of de network"???

[Zephyr]

What you say, Norm, reminds me again of the time when we were crossing the bridge between Sweden and Denmark in the fall of 2003. My wife, Irmgard, who died in 2005, was driving and on the back seat were Tommy, Danny, and Linda Shelton, when Irmgard asked Linda about her children. Linda first told us about her daughter, and then about Nathan, whom she also loved so dearly. Then she told us that her songs were written for Nathan.

When I saw and heard Danny's reaction I breathed a silent prayer:

- Lord, save their marriage!

What was the Creep's reaction?

Could it be said that those that "went along with" / "go along with" the deception are jes as guilty? Even if it is for the "good of de network"???

More guilty. At least you can argue that even Danny was overwhelmed by emotional concerns. These aiders and abetters of breaking up families and bride collecting are mostly professionals and professional counselors. Mostly for monetary gain/and or having their face on tv.
Especially that snake-oil saleswoman, Kay Kuzma, Ed.D.

[princessdi]

Zephyr,

I am going to ask that you refrain from name calling. Even though we are not talking about [active] members, BSDA is still a SDA christian site. You can state you disagreement, distaste, and even disgust, but try to keep it respectful.

What was the Creep's reaction?
More guilty. At least you can argue that even Danny was overwhelmed by emotional concerns. These aiders and abetters of breaking up families and bride collecting are mostly professionals and professional counselors. Mostly for monetary gain/and or having their face on tv.
Especially that snake-oil saleswoman, Kay Kuzma, Ed.D.