Chapter 11, Naive.... Options

[Observer]

“Naive”, Part 1

Linda sits quietly in a chair, gazing out the living room window. Danny has just left the room. Her shoulders begins to shake as a single tear slowly makes its way down her cheek, as her lips begin to tremble she hears the roar of Danny's truck as he drives away... Soon the single tear is joined by many others, etching her delicate features like stained glass. Clasping her hands together she falls to her knees and begins to pray... At the same time Linda is praying, Danny is seated in his office viewing a website for private jets.

* * * * *

I have remained silent so far in the discussion concerning certain character attributes of Linda. I can understand both sides of this issue: the portrayal of Linda by Sonshineonme as a very naive individual and the call for Linda’s accountability in regard to what transpired under the rulership of 3ABN and the question of what knowledge she possessed of certain facts at the time.

In the former portrayal, it might be best to define the term “naive” as a “childlike trusting nature and vulnerability”, someone who looks for the good in situations and is shocked upon the discovery that everything in her world was not as it was depicted to her by her husband. Linda is an individual with these character traits and thus can easily be dominated and manipulated by a controlling and dishonest individual. When Linda was under the control of Danny and her perspective of situations were shaped primarily through his “interpretation” of the “facts”, Linda’s viewpoint seldom reflected the reality of the situation. Add to this mix a woman who deeply loves her husband and has been controlled by him for twenty years and you have both a case of abuse and manipulation: a woman who has been conditioned to believe everything her husband tells her and taught not to question his credibility or decisions. Considering Linda’s character, this situation existed throughout their entire marriage, in varying degrees.

Now in regard to the situation cited in my third post of the Unauthorized History of 3ABN, based upon the above information, whose word is Linda going to believe in regard to the misuse of ministry funds: her husband or his cousin? If her husband tells her he paid for the horses himself and his cousin says he used ministry monies for private purchases, she will side with her husband. With the mind set she has developed with Danny, that is the only conclusion she could allow herself to believe. Unfortunately, she did not investigate further for herself, for she believed her husband. Add to that the knowledge that between them they earned about 100, 000 dollars a year and she saw no reason for Danny steal from the ministry, he could afford to buy horses himself. That is where the “childlike trusting nature and vulnerability”, which would usually be considered a positive trait in a Christian, is used to manipulate Linda into complete trust and compliance in what her husband said. And further explains how she could make the following statement in utter confidence, “anything Danny says is right, even if he is wrong, we are like gods here.” She never considered the possibility that Danny was lying...

1. She believed what her husband said was true
2. She did not believe that he would intentionally misrepresent his actions
3. She believed he was a godly man.

And in regard to the last part of the statement, “we are like gods here.”,

4. I agree, it was not a very wise statement to make, no matter what her intentions were at the time. But as the old adage goes, "hindsight is 20/20 and if Linda could change that statement now, with the knowledge that she has today, I am sure she would have phrased her thoughts very differently. But, much later she did find out just how true that statement was in regard to the absolute control Danny has over 3ABN as a business and the functioning of the Board.

Were there actions on Danny’s part that she knew about and protested against? Yes. Was she able to stop him? No. Did she try to reason with him? Yes. Did it produce her desired results? No. Did she suffer abuse for opposing him?

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Naive...

The questions come: What did Linda know? Was she naive? These are honest and valid questions.

I will suggest that Sister has made some important points on the question of whether or not Linda was naive.

I have wondered for some time what I could say to add to this. I have stated that in my contact with Linda I has sensed that she was naive. But, I have wondered what more I could say. Well, I have thought of it.

One can be quite intelligent, informed, and a very competent person and still be naive in some areas of their life.

People have told me that I am naive in certain specific areas of my life, how I perceive people, and how I respond to them. My wife sometimes has to bring me into contact with reality.

I have professionally worked with abused women. They have typically been naive in regard to issue with the abusing partner.

The bottom line: A person can be naive in one part of their life, and very competent in others.

Linda has her strengths. Her spirituality is one of them. There are other areas of strength. She has learned lessons from this experience. They have been hard lessons. But, she has learned. Some people do not learn. She may have been naive in the past. She is not now where she once was. It is likely that in the future she will be where she is not today.

[Seraphim7]

The questions come: What did Linda know? Was she naive? These are honest and valid questions.

I will suggest that Sister has made some important points on the question of whether or not Linda was naive.

I have wondered for some time what I could say to add to this. I have stated that in my contact with Linda I has sensed that she was naive. But, I have wondered what more I could say. Well, I have thought of it.

One can be quite intelligent, informed, and a very competent person and still be naive in some areas of their life.

People have told me that I am naive in certain specific areas of my life, how I perceive people, and how I respond to them. My wife sometimes has to bring me into contact with reality.

I have professionally worked with abused women. They have typically been naive in regard to issue with the abusing partner.

The bottom line: A person can be naive in one part of their life, and very competent in others.

Linda has her strengths. Her spirituality is one of them. There are other areas of strength. She has learned lessons from this experience. They have been hard lessons. But, she has learned. Some people do not learn. She may have been naive in the past. She is not now where she once was. It is likely that in the future she will be where she is not today.

Well said.

[roxe]

In regard to Part 2 of "Naive", there is more to this story. I have not been ignoring the request that I continue the Saga of "An Unauthorized History of 3ABN" with the second part of "Naive" , but I have been uncertain how to answer this request. I had come to a point in the "History" where I felt that the work the Lord had given me in regard to it was basically completed. Instead I had returned to being a participant in the 3ABN Forum, within BSDA, and with the pinning of the "History" considered that my task was completed. The story is not finished and continues on as I write this, but at this point I am questioning if it is my task to complete it here? Please continue to have patience with me in regard to this matter as I prayerfully consider my next step.
Sister

i'm praying for you, sister, that God will reveal His will to you in this matter.

[Bystander]

"sister",

Thank you so much!

This IS the Linda WE have known and LOVED as well!!!

These are the very point I have been trying to say for so long...

That's what I have been trying to say, but I don't have that gift of expression as do you.

THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU, "sister"

MORE, MORE PLEASE!

LEE, EYEWITNESS, WWJD, HAROLD, FHB, ALTHEIA ect. ect....check this out...Honestly I haven't laughed this hard in years...........

[Bystander]

Are you implying that Danny did not search the internet to find the kind of jet that he truly deserved? If I were to bet, I'd bet he really did!
No I am not implying...I am ridiculing the ludicrous story that while Linda was crying and praying, he was coldly browsing the internet. Sister or whoever wrote that needs to apply for a comedy writing job on the Tonight Show.

As always, your "I hate Linda" Venom is dripping again! You really must stop drooling. I believe that paragraph.

I believe it depicts Linda, as a true Christian. I believe Linda is a person of much prayer. And yes, I believe Danny is about getting what he has determined that he deserves. He felt he was entitled to a better jet.

Linda clearly accepted the fact that she was entitled to nothing. She still remains faithful to God. She has had everything stolen from her, yet she still praises God. Oh that I would have her faith.

entitled to nothing???? Her settlement from the divorce and the severence from 3abn would be enough for some of us to retire on.....Stolen??? Please, because of all that money she has been able to do absolutely nothing as far as actual work goes. It has given her the means to travel, write, ect ect should she choose to.........Oh that I would have her faith???? Oh that I would have her money
And all these statements from the person that just said last night that she wasn't about the divorce of Danny & Linda and wasn't on either side.

Surely you are laughing at Danny. Surely you would not belittle Linda's faith and prayers.

Well, maybe you would since you are doing everything in your power to destroy one classy lady.

[quote name='andithomas1' date='Jan 28 2007, 05:01 PM' post='173561']
I really find it interesting that someone that professes to be a Christian would read this and respond in this manner.
You are joking with me..right? You have to be if you have read all the nasty and hateful and judgmental comments that have been made on this forum . If you are going to get on to me then be fair and take the next week to reprimand all the others....
Thanks

[Bystander]

This is horrifying. Please tell me this post was a mistake.

No actually it wasn't. I see nothing wrong with laughing at enjoyable fiction. People get a grip. This is not the bible...it is not holy....it is someone's fictional story of how they THINK things played out. Because it was written does not make it so....Let's see if I was to post a similar paragraph except with the roles reversed, you guys would laugh your socks off and you know it. I can just imagine all the ugly comments that would follow.....c'mon, admit it, you know you would....

Now THAT reaction is not only the crassest thing I have seen in a long time... but also down right evil in my book!..... You have REALLY reached a new low with this one, "Bystander"!!!.... .....

If this is the crassest thing you have seen in a long time..you haven't been keep'in up with the comments of your friends on this forum

Bystander forgets that he will stand before God someday... and the standard for judging him will be
" inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me"

And in that day he will say...?

Dunno... but I bet he wont be ROFL...

In His service,
Mr. J

Mr. J
Those comments coming from you makes this especially shocking. I have said several times to others that you Mr. J make the most ungodly, hateful and inconsiderate comments of anybody on here. Your whole attitude shows a lack of disregard for anyone's opinion if it doesn't agree with yours. You belittle, you insult and you demean and you have the audacity to quote "as ye have done it unto the least" to me??? How ironic that for weeks I have been wondering how you could put "in His service" after some of the comments you make. There is fun and then...there is YOU.

So, is Danny accused of misusing 3abn funds also. If he used the money to buy horses maybe he considers the horses as 3abn horses. Where is the proof? How much truth is there in this rumour.

None. make some phone calls.....and you will understand the real event. and the alleged incident has been posted like it was recent, it was not. It was approx 15 years ago

[Clay]

No actually it wasn't. I see nothing wrong with laughing at enjoyable fiction. People get a grip. This is not the bible...it is not holy....it is someone's fictional story of how they THINK things played out. Because it was written does not make it so....Let's see if I was to post a similar paragraph except with the roles reversed, you guys would laugh your socks off and you know it. I can just imagine all the ugly comments that would follow.....c'mon, admit it, you know you would....
If this is the crassest thing you have seen in a long time..you haven't been keep'in up with the comments of your friends on this forum
Mr. J
Those comments coming from you makes this especially shocking. I have said several times to others that you Mr. J make the most ungodly, hateful and inconsiderate comments of anybody on here. Your whole attitude shows a lack of disregard for anyone's opinion if it doesn't agree with yours. You belittle, you insult and you demean and you have the audacity to quote "as ye have done it unto the least" to me??? How ironic that for weeks I have been wondering how you could put "in His service" after some of the comments you make. There is fun and then...there is YOU.
None. make some phone calls.....and you will understand the real event. and the alleged incident has been posted like it was recent, it was not. It was approx 15 years ago

alot to say for someone who was leaving.... so since you have decided to stay with us for a bit, let me take this opportunity to tell you that you are wrong, wouldn't recognize truth if it parked itself right on the tip of your nose.... Your distraction by minutiae will not work, neither will your minimizing the actions of those at 3abn...... Let me also thank you in advance for providing me with the opportunity to tell you how wrong you are every time you post......

tiresome you remain...

[Hersheys99]

LEE, EYEWITNESS, WWJD, HAROLD, FHB, ALTHEIA

Funny how he puts all the "crew" together isn't it.

[watchbird]

No actually it wasn't. I see nothing wrong with laughing at enjoyable fiction. People get a grip. This is not the bible...it is not holy....it is someone's fictional story of how they THINK things played out. Because it was written does not make it so....Let's see if I was to post a similar paragraph except with the roles reversed, you guys would laugh your socks off and you know it. I can just imagine all the ugly comments that would follow.....c'mon, admit it, you know you would....

Well... THANK YOU for another insight into your character. There IS something VERY wrong with laughing when someone else is weeping.... whether it be in fiction or biography... normal, sensitive, kindly people shed tears over the tears of others... including fictional characters. In this case, since it was describing a true experience of a real person.... to laugh at her tears only shows you to be the subhuman beast that you obviously are inside. Thank you for stepping out into the open and revealing this gross flaw in your inner makeup!

Keep it up.... even your friends will look on you with abhorence once they have seen enough....

Carry on.... .... the world is watching....

[awesumtenor]

Those comments coming from you makes this especially shocking. I have said several times to others that you Mr. J make the most ungodly, hateful and inconsiderate comments of anybody on here.

For all your crying about Matt 18, if you find my comments so offensive why have you had something to say about them to others when you have never even attempted to say anything to me in accordance with scripture? I am glad my comments have given you sufficient pause that you feel a need to discuss them with annas and caiaphas and the rest of that demonic Thompsonville sanhedrin you run with... that says I've hit you where you live and you don't like it. Score one for me...

Your whole attitude shows a lack of disregard for anyone's opinion if it doesn't agree with yours. You belittle, you insult and you demean and you have the audacity to quote "as ye have done it unto the least" to me??? How ironic that for weeks I have been wondering how you could put "in His service" after some of the comments you make. There is fun and then...there is YOU.

Whatever dude... if you think that your indignation moves me... think again; I've been called worse... by better people.

What I find ironic is when someone gives back to you what you give to others it hurts your little feelings, Bro. Hypocrite... and if you were doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, you wouldn't be in this position. Weighed in the same balance that you have weighed others in, you are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more wanting than you claim them to be... Whichever Shelton/Shelton flunky you are means absolutely nothing to me. It neither impresses nor intimidates me and there is nothing you can do to me or hold over my head like some latter day sword of Damocles to make me back off. I find it hilarious that you are consenting to threats made by PM and find jocularity in the tears of another... but when you are the target all of a sudden such behavior becomes patently offensive?

Go back to the kiddie pool in Thompsonville because you are drowning here in the deep end of the pool; you clearly are out of your element and out of your league here.

In His service (whether you like it or not),
Mr. J

This post has been edited by awesumtenor: Jan 29 2007, 10:56 AM

[Clay]

BAM!!!!!! (had to borrow that from Emeril) there it is..... hey you tiresome Danny apologists.... that would be Bystander, Cindy, What would the devil do, Lee, Eyewitness, FHB.... ya'll take your vitamins before you come back again..... might help those tired arguments you keep trying to pass as logical thought......

[Denny]

BAM!!!!!! (had to borrow that from Emeril) there it is..... hey you tiresome Danny apologists.... that would be Bystander, Cindy, What would the devil do, Lee, Eyewitness, FHB.... ya'll take your vitamins before you come back again..... might help those tired arguments you keep trying to pass as logical thought......

Hope they are not advocates of the new Adventist divorce guide:-

Using my imagination

1. Go on national tv and claim to be working on marriage problems
2. Leave spouse
3a. Expand lust rule to spiritual adultery (whatever that is)
3b. Divorce spouse
4. Gag spouse
5. Whilst gag is in effect defame character of former spouse on tv and to whoever will listen
6. Find younger spouse
7. Marry younger spouse
8. Defame confidents of former spouse
9. Attempt to get point 3 on the next General conference session of 2010 (who knows other 'suffering' colleagues in the church may benefit from this new rule)
10. Attend weddings for former collegues who also experienced point 3

This post has been edited by Denny: Jan 29 2007, 12:31 PM

[awesumtenor]

Hope they are not advocates of the new Adventist divorce guide:-

Using my imagination

1. Go on national tv and claim to be working on marriage problems
2. Leave spouse
3. Expand lust rule to spiritual adultery (whatever that is)
3. Divorce spouse
4. Gag spouse
5. Whilst gag is in effect defame character of former spouse on tv and to whoever will listen
6. Find younger spouse
7. Marry younger spouse
8. Defame confidents of former spouse
9. Attempt to get point 3 on the next General conference session of 2010 (who knows other 'suffering' colleagues in the church may benefit from this new rule)
10. Attend weddings for former collegues who also experienced point 3

Advocates? They wrote the rule...

In His service,
Mr. J

[PaperTigers]

Hope they are not advocates of the new Adventist divorce guide:-

Using my imagination

1. Go on national tv and claim to be working on marriage problems
2. Leave spouse
3. Expand lust rule to spiritual adultery (whatever that is)
3. Divorce spouse
4. Gag spouse
5. Whilst gag is in effect defame character of former spouse on tv and to whoever will listen
6. Find younger spouse
7. Marry younger spouse
8. Defame confidents of former spouse
9. Attempt to get point 3 on the next General conference session of 2010 (who knows other 'suffering' colleagues in the church may benefit from this new rule)
10. Attend weddings for former collegues who also experienced point 3

let's hope it doesn't go that far

[watchbird]

let's hope it doesn't go that far

Whatchamean "let's hope"... it already has.... except possibly for #9... which is three years away in the future.

..... Stay tuned..... ....... the story is not finished yet.....