Who Is It?, A 3ABN guessing game Options

[sister]

Is this really true and factual?



Did Danny really do this to her?



How does this person know about all of this?

Daryl, sadly this is really true and factual...unfortunately for a young girl who is now a mother herself and in turn has allowed her young daughter and sons to make unsupervised overnight visits in the home of their grandfather, including the time period between his divorce and remarriage. Currently the oldest child of Melody and her former husband Derrell Mundall is now about the same age that Melody was when Danny involved his daughter in behavior that at the very least has the appearance of extreme evil or perhaps to the extent that it became a heinous act against both the laws of God, the state of Illinois and his own child.

Unfortunately, your last question is not one I can answer publicly.

[Daryl Fawcett]

Then why does she seemingly still have such a good relationship with her father, and why does she allow the potential of the same thing also happening to her own "young daughter and sons"?

[inga]

Then why does she seemingly still have such a good relationship with her father, and why does she allow the potential of the same thing also happening to her own "young daughter and sons"?

To understand this appearance, one has to understand the psychology of abuse and molestation. One woman who had been molested wrote a book years ago entitled, "Daddy's girl." That title encapsulates the seductive power of such a relationship. Sexually exploited daughers are made to feel "special," with the father often confiding in them and telling them that, sadly, their mother simply doesn't understand him and his needs the way they do ... It's emotional rape that sets the stage for apparently "consensual" sexual favors. When the girls feel guilty, as they inevitably will, they believe it is largely their fault.

I'm thinking now of one woman (now in her 40's) who was molested as a child. It took a lot to finally convince her intellecually that it wasn't her fault. But emotinally she didn't "get it," and keeps falling back into a speech pattern that presumes her guilt. ... not to mention repeated suicide attempts...

The way I see it, the very first step towards healing by abused individuals is to understand they were abused. And that reminds me of one conversation with a dear friend some years back. She had been convinced for more than a decade that she was guilty of having an affair with her Bible teacher in academy. When I called it sexual abuse and laid out clearly why I thought it so, she had an aha! moment. She had never seen it that way before, though it's as obvious as the nose on your face to an onlooker -- he was older and a power/authority figure and she was an insecure teenager. Of course, teenagers also share moral responsibility for such actions, but the overwhelming weight of responsibility goes to the authority figure. I wonder whether Dan's daughter has even reached the first step of healing -- that of seeing her father as her abuser. If she hasn't, it would explain why she allows him unsupervised access to her children. Or maybe she still thinks she's so "special" that no one else -- certainly not her children -- could take her place. Unfortunately, records indicate that the father who molested a daugher will, without compunction, molest a grand-daughter as well ...

I'm sure there are others on this forum who understand the psychology of incest and/or molestation/abuse. It would be helpful to hear their testimony.

But what can anyone do for Dan's daughter and her children?

[Ralph]

I'm sure there are others on this forum who understand the psychology of incest and/or molestation/abuse. It would be helpful to hear their testimony.

I have also read "Daddy's girl." It is definitely not a bed time story

You have done such a good job Inge. I'll add a couple thoughts. I am a trained volunteer and take calls from people in distress and then refer them to the appropriate source for help. But issues like this are hard to talk about, and often a person will feel more comfortable opening up to me because I am just a voice on the phone and they know that we will never meet.

There seems to be a natural wall in a person's psyche between fatherly love for a child and erotic love. As my daughter was growing up, I was very careful not to transgress that barrier. And that is probably why some of us, as fathers, appear to have been distant from our daughters as they entered their teens.

If that sacred wall is broken down between the those two kinds of love, it is very confusing to a young person. When I talk to adults who have been abused as children, I notice that they try to understand the "why" of what happened through an adult mind. That doesn't work. They knew it was wrong, and yet the experience felt good. I ask them to visualizef a child they know that is about the same age as they were, and then I try to get them to think through it with the mind of a child. Aha!

We used to assume that a male child who was sexually abused would grow up to be an abuser himself. That may happen, but I often find that their emotions are taken out in gut-level anger -- either at others in destructive behavior -- or on themselves -- often in high risk or suicidal behavior.

But what can anyone do for Dan's daughter and her children?

This is where I refer a person to a counselor. The big problem is to get a person to actually go for counseling. It is not an easy road. My job is to just listen, give them affirmation and direct them to a place. So often I say, "It's not your fault. It's NOT your fault."

This post has been edited by Ralph: Aug 20 2006, 07:55 PM

[Daryl Fawcett]

Are all these leadership people at 3ABN millionaires?

[husbandoftheyear]

And the attitude of her father could explain the reason why the following occurred: when she was caught in the act and it was discovered that the “telephone relationship” had been ongoing for three years, while she was also engaged in a physically adulterous relationship with another man, rather then reprimand her, her father rewarded her with greater promotion of her singing? Meanwhile the 3ABN employee on the other end of the line, a married man, was fired. Are there two types of justice? One for the Shelton family and another for everyone else?

As always, 10 points for naming the individual. Additional points for personal experiences.

Sister, you seem to be "in the know" and I would like one day to know who you are since we obviously were coworkers for some time. I witnessed many of the things that you post, but by all means, not all of them. However, I do want to add some details and comment on the married 3ABN employee that was fired for the relationship with Melody.

First, he was not fired. He was suspended and allowed to resign to go on to other unsupecting victims. I had several conversations with Mollie on this topic trying to find out why 3ABN wouldn't hold him accountable - to no avail.

Secondly, my wife was victimized by this man as were a number of ladies as the station. Whether or not he was involved in a reciprocated relationship with Melody does not excuse him from his behavior towards other innocent young women. Many people are still wondering about the S.G. incident(s) and I can assure you that the claims made by the multiple women who came forth were all true. He is a man who needs professional counseling because he is - or at least - was a sexual predator. It seems to be the 3ABN legacy.

I am not addressing the punishment - rather - wanting to bring to light the fact that the man in question was not sacked unjustly. After news of the relationship with Melody, many of the victims poured into Mollie's office with similar stories.


This post has been edited by husbandoftheyear: Aug 22 2006, 02:36 PM

[PaperTigers]

Sister, you seem to be "in the know" and I would like one day to know who you are since we obviously were coworkers for some time. I witnessed many of the things that you post, but by all means, not all of them. However, I do want to add some details and comment on the married 3ABN employee that was fired for the relationship with Melody.

First, he was not fired. He was suspended and allowed to resign to go on to other unsupecting victims. I had several conversations with Mollie on this topic trying to find out why 3ABN wouldn't hold him accountable - to no avail.

Secondly, my wife was victimized by this man as were a number of ladies as the station. Whether or not he was involved in a reciprocated relationship with Melody does not excuse him from his behavior towards other innocent young women. Many people are still wondering about the S.G. incident(s) and I can assure you that the claims made by the multiple women who came forth were all true. He is a man who needs professional counseling because he is - or at least - was a sexual predator. It seems to be the 3ABN legacy.

I am not addressing the punishment - rather - wanting to bring to light the fact that the man in question was not sacked unjustly. After news of the relationship with Melody, many of the victims poured into Mollie's office with similar stories.

I have to agree with husband on this one, one of my best friends was hit on repeatedly by this man... i'm just glad that i didn't have to work directly with him very much... but of course the actual guys who worked under him never saw it

[sister]

Sister, you seem to be "in the know" and I would like one day to know who you are since we obviously were coworkers for some time. I witnessed many of the things that you post, but by all means, not all of them. However, I do want to add some details and comment on the married 3ABN employee that was fired for the relationship with Melody.

First, he was not fired. He was suspended and allowed to resign to go on to other unsupecting victims. I had several conversations with Mollie on this topic trying to find out why 3ABN wouldn't hold him accountable - to no avail.

Secondly, my wife was victimized by this man as were a number of ladies as the station. Whether or not he was involved in a reciprocated relationship with Melody does not excuse him from his behavior towards other innocent young women. Many people are still wondering about the S.G. incident(s) and I can assure you that the claims made by the multiple women who came forth were all true. He is a man who needs professional counseling because he is - or at least - was a sexual predator. It seems to be the 3ABN legacy.

I am not addressing the punishment - rather - wanting to bring to light the fact that the man in question was not sacked unjustly. After news of the relationship with Melody, many of the victims poured into Mollie's office with similar stories.

My understanding was that S.G. was fired, not allowed to resign, that was what I was told, of course since the information came from Danny, it could have been a lie, he lied about the circumstances involving others leaving 3ABN.

I do know that a number of women refused to work with S.G. and others quit working at 3ABN because of him. Under the circumstances, why were there no official charges made against SG for sexual harassment? All these women went to Mollie with their information. As a separate issue, why wasn't SG charged and prosecuted? His relationship with Melody was consensual, but obviously that was not the case with the others.

The point I wanted to make was in the particular case of Melody and SG: it was an ongoing (three years), consensual telephone sex relationship; therefore, why was Melody rewarded for her behavior and S.G. "fired" for his? Both were married, in this case the relationship was consensual, both were adulterers, but the "punishment" each received was in direct opposition to the other. The point being, a member of the Shelton family is rewarded for adultery and the other person involved is removed from the ministry. I agree that something should have been done in the case of S.G. much sooner and his removal from the ministry was valid. But in this particular situation, shouldn't Melody also have been removed? She had had multiple affairs. Is there a different justice for Shelton family members and everyone else? Does the entire Shelton clan share the same "special dispensation" of Danny? Are they all above the law? Melody is a serial adulterer, Tommy is a pedophile and the list goes on...

[TLC]

My understanding was that S.G. was fired, not allowed to resign, that was what I was told, of course since the information came from Danny, it could have been a lie, he lied about the circumstances involving others leaving 3ABN.

I do know that a number of women refused to work with S.G. and others quit working at 3ABN because of him. Under the circumstances, why were there no official charges made against SG for sexual harassment? All these women went to Mollie with their information. As a separate issue, why wasn't SG charged and prosecuted? His relationship with Melody was consensual, but obviously that was not the case with the others.

The point I wanted to make was in the particular case of Melody and SG: it was an ongoing (three years), consensual telephone sex relationship; therefore, why was Melody rewarded for her behavior and S.G. "fired" for his? Both were married, in this case the relationship was consensual, both were adulterers, but the "punishment" each received was in direct opposition to the other. The point being, a member of the Shelton family is rewarded for adultery and the other person involved is removed from the ministry. I agree that something should have been done in the case of S.G. much sooner and his removal from the ministry was valid. But in this particular situation, shouldn't Melody also have been removed? She had had multiple affairs. Is there a different justice for Shelton family members and everyone else? Does the entire Shelton clan share the same "special dispensation" of Danny? Are they all above the law? Melody is a serial adulterer, Tommy is a pedophile and the list goes on...

Sister,

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you were misinformed. I used to work there, too. It was not consentual. Melody reported it and then several others came forward who were afraid to report it before. And where did you get the "Three years"? She reported it after a few weeks. S.G. is a sexual preditor. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, but it does make me wonder about some of the other "information" that you have.

TLC

[Uncle Sam]

Sister,

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you were misinformed. I used to work there, too. It was not consentual. Melody reported it and then several others came forward who were afraid to report it before. And where did you get the "Three years"? She reported it after a few weeks. S.G. is a sexual preditor. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, but it does make me wonder about some of the other "information" that you have.

TLC

OK, I know I am out of the loop but who is SG?

[PaperTigers]

Sister,

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you were misinformed. I used to work there, too. It was not consentual. Melody reported it and then several others came forward who were afraid to report it before. And where did you get the "Three years"? She reported it after a few weeks. S.G. is a sexual preditor. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, but it does make me wonder about some of the other "information" that you have.

TLC

I'm also not sure on the "three years" but i know it was more than three weeks.. and i also find it hard to believe that it wasn't consentual.. i have seen her in the past come on to male employees, to the point where they didn't want to work with her, but couldn't say that they didn't want to work with her..
As far as being treated different, it happens everyday.. if you were a shelton (or related) you could come in late most days of the week, come in still drunk - or high, and do a crappy job... and yet amazingly still have your job...
while others who actually cared about their job, but didn't maybe have the best way of dealing with things.. were watched like a hawk just waiting for some slight mess up to fire them..
Somehow the scales don't seem quite even in my opinion

[TLC]

I'm also not sure on the "three years" but i know it was more than three weeks.. and i also find it hard to believe that it wasn't consentual.. i have seen her in the past come on to male employees, to the point where they didn't want to work with her, but couldn't say that they didn't want to work with her..
As far as being treated different, it happens everyday.. if you were a shelton (or related) you could come in late most days of the week, come in still drunk - or high, and do a crappy job... and yet amazingly still have your job...
while others who actually cared about their job, but didn't maybe have the best way of dealing with things.. were watched like a hawk just waiting for some slight mess up to fire them..
Somehow the scales don't seem quite even in my opinion

PT,

We probably used to know each other. Did you see a Shelton come in drunk?

TLC

[PaperTigers]

PT,

We probably used to know each other. Did you see a Shelton come in drunk?

TLC

I've seen an actual Shelton come in drunk, one related come in high (a couple times), one married to one come in drunk....

the list is a long one, i worked there for a while..

[Clay]

I've seen an actual Shelton come in drunk, one related come in high (a couple times), one married to one come in drunk....

the list is a long one, i worked there for a while..

and? folks struggle with different issues... clearly we wouldn't want the issues we struggle with made public would we?

[PaperTigers]

and? folks struggle with different issues... clearly we wouldn't want the issues we struggle with made public would we?

no and i actually like the people that i am talking about... my original post was about the inconsitancies in dealing with people... what some are allowed to do, while others are punished for one slight mis-step...

This post has been edited by PaperTigers: Aug 23 2006, 09:01 AM