Corporate "worship" At 3abn, The Shelton Gang Rides Again! Options

[Noahswife]

In post#218, Glenetta wrote:

" I am told that this is a public forum and that I should PM but I don't see where others do a lot of that."

How in the world would you know how many PMs are sent between people? I assure you that yesterday I sent more PMs asking for information and especially clarification than I wrote posts in the 3ABN area.

There is a great deal of fellowship and support to be found here at BlackSDA. The last time I checked not only have you been posting a lot since joining but 100% of those posts are in the 3ABN forum.

Why not visit some other areas and get to know people here before making accusations about anyone's faith or relationship to their creator in this highly volatile topic.

You might find your questions and opinions are more welcomed after you establish a relationship with the people here. That is what social media is all about.

nw

Also please note that I think it is very important in these heated discussions to quote things exactly rather than put words in peoples mouths by paraphrasing what you thought they meant. Just a suggestion/hint.

This post has been edited by Noahswife: Feb 9 2007, 11:16 AM

[Guest_glenetta_*]

Glenetta get off of your high horse. No one is remotely degrading Mark Finley. He is a respected SDA evangelist and leader. We have been told that he is willing to make a statement in regard to the counseling that it is claimed he did with Linda. I, who am one of those on the so-called Linda's Team, would like to see his statement. I have never said anything that can be remotely considered to be an implication that Mark Finley has lied. As a respected leader, who we are told is willing to make a statement, I want to see what he has to say. If he is willing to give such to us, I will comment on it. There is nothing degrading about that.

As for Johann, he has not degraded Mark Finley. He simply brought up a question that needs to be clairfied. Surely Elder Finley will not take offense at the request for clairfication. Johann, Bob Pickle, GAJ, and I are all interested in the truth, whatever that is.

If he is respected like you have said, why would you want to "see" his statement? And Johann did ask, "DID HE LIE"? It was a question but what a question for a highly regarded, highly respected individual of the denomination. I imagen if there is a court proceeding, the statement will be there and being you are representing Linda you will see it then. I can't imagen what would be said about Elder Finley on here, if, that statement was posted here. I am in fear that this is becoming . .. . more than just a forum of discussion. When SDA's are becoming so liberal that they feel they can evaluate "anyone" and "everyone" that is getting serious.

[Seraphim7]

Glenetta..... go back to the shallow end of the pool.... grown folks business down here in the deep end and you have shown you aren't ready just yet....

Have you not heard "that the very young do not always do as they are told".
The Nox - Star Gate SG-1

[Observer]

Re: "If he is respected like you have said, why would you want to "see" his statement?"

1) Because he is respected.

2) Because we have been told that he would be willing to make a statement.

3) Because the statement that he is said to be willing to make, and may already have made to othrs, concerns Linda. Should she be made aware of what he has already said about her, or is willing to say about her? I think that she should be aware of such.

4) As I am said to be on Linda's Team, and one who advises her, it is appropriate for me to ask to see the statement.

5) I will point out: The attempt of ASI to mediate broke down in part because Linda wanted full public disclosure regardless of which way it went. I find it of interest that the other side (not Linda's side) appars unwilling to state the facts and wants to only disclose to a few people. If Mark Finley is willing to make a statement, and Linda is willing for such a statement to be public, why not?





This post has been edited by Observer: Feb 9 2007, 11:36 AM

[Nuggie]

If he is respected like you have said, why would you want to "see" his statement? And Johann did ask, "DID HE LIE"? It was a question but what a question for a highly regarded, highly respected individual of the denomination. I imagen if there is a court proceeding, the statement will be there and being you are representing Linda you will see it then. I can't imagen what would be said about Elder Finley on here, if, that statement was posted here. I am in fear that this is becoming . .. . more than just a forum of discussion. When SDA's are becoming so liberal that they feel they can evaluate "anyone" and "everyone" that is getting serious.

Get over yourself already...you've been here less than a week and already you've shown that you have no interest in actually reading what's posted here...instead you twist and manipulate words and other people's post to present a completely different message (Example: insisting that Johann had "dates"; quoting Sister's posts incorrectly). That is wrong, just wrong... The one thing that I really respect Calvin for on these boards is that he holds everybody to the same standard of integrity, respect, and honesty. You need to remember that.

[Guest_glenetta_*]

Have you not heard "that the very young do not always do as they are told".
The Nox - Star Gate SG-1

Why do I have to be ready? I'll just jump on your back and let you do all the swimming! Then when we get to the shallow end I'll jump off and comment on what a good girl am I, while you are still trying to get your breath.

I have heard the young do not always do as they are told, and young I am.

Get over yourself already...you've been here less than a week and already you've shown that you have no interest in actually reading what's posted here...instead you twist and manipulate words and other people's post to present a completely different message (Example: insisting that Johann had "dates"; quoting Sister's posts incorrectly). That is wrong, just wrong... The one thing that I really respect Calvin for on these boards is that he holds everybody to the same standard of integrity, respect, and honesty. You need to remember that.

I have read enough post to know that I read how Linda had a swimming pool at her manision, Joe Smith called it huge. Pickle decided it was all compared to Joe Smith had none. So I guess it would all be in the eye of the beholder. Now what appears to be a huge contribution by Gailon Joy is very small in the eyes of another, including me. I give myself and his donation was small peanuts. Now as far as twisting words, I am not, read the post as the post was made and the proceeding post. I referred to the dates because they were dates that the 3 meet. Now if you are thinking of a date, date then 2 is a company 3 is a crowd. Well in most cases.

[princessdi]

What in the world are you talking about?

Inga, I am surprised that you would put so many accusations in your post. Again I ask not where are you getting your information but what is the original source or are you just repeating what you have heard? Do you hear yourself and this is to princess di also when you talk about airbrushing people and when you accuse danny of getting rid of linda because he was having an affair with Brandi? All I hear is show proof from your side. Where is your proof on those accusations?................

[inga]

What on earth is going on here. Now Mark Finley is deceiving people?

That Elder Mark Finlay disagrees with Dan Shelton and his team does not mean he is being deceptive. It means he disagrees. That could mean that either Dan Shelton or Mark Finlay is being deceptive.

I'm betting that Mark Finlay is being truthful and Dan Shelton is being deceptive.

Let other readers judge for themselves.

[caribbean sda]

What on earth is going on here. What kind of place is this SDA forum. Come on tell me, does anyone love Jesus here?

Give it a rest, lady. This forum is what you make it. Why don't you take a break from the 3ABN saga and visit some other threads, you will see "what kind of place is this SDA forum." Oh yeah, and you'll discover that we all love Jesus here.

[Observer]

That Elder Mark Finlay disagrees with Dan Shelton and his team does not mean he is being deceptive. It means he disagrees. That could mean that either Dan Shelton or Mark Finlay is being deceptive.

I'm betting that Mark Finlay is being truthful and Dan Shelton is being deceptive.

Let other readers judge for themselves.

And honest people can disagree.

[princessdi]

....more like disrespectful...

and what is sooooo wild is that they both make the same spelling error with Johann's name, spelling it Yohann...... isn't that creepy or what?

[inga]

I referred to the dates because they were dates that the 3 meet. Now if you are thinking of a date, date then 2 is a company 3 is a crowd. Well in most cases.

Glenetta, you are again trying to confuse the issue. You suggested they "had dates," and that means something very different from a meeting of 3 or more people on specific dates. Such meetings are through appointments and are not called dates. which I suspect you already know, since you seem to be well enough acquainted with the English language and American modes of expression, albeit not the educated version.

[princessdi]

But the kicker is what they are considering counselling is people or a group of people steadily calling Linda to meetings telling her to stop talking to the Dr. treating her son. That is not counselling. I can't get over that!

Don't laugh. I once worked with a person who signed upt to learn to play the piano through a correspondence course.

As to counseling, some think it is the following:

Counselee: What should I do?

Counselor: You should . . . ..

Counselee: O.K. Thanks.

That is why I talk about prefessional counseling. It is much more. But, if we can get a statement from Mark Finley, we can understand what went on, and discuss it.

Without that statement, Linda is at a disadvantage and cannot respond to anything.

[Noahswife]

But the kicker is what they are considering counselling is people or a group of people steadily calling Linda to meetings telling her to stop talking to the Dr. treating her son. That is not counselling. I can't get over that!

And I second that statement.



So do we need to define what is appropriate "counselling" in this situation? And whose opinion should be considered? A trained therapist and if so, what are their credentials? A pastor whose experience is just that, his experience (IMO which has no weight here )? There are definitely going to be different definitions so probably each side will claim they were right on this issue.

I hate to keep bringing up my mother but I cannot tell you how many times she has brought up the counselling she heard/knows Linda got as a reason my mother believes that DS loved his wife and never wanted any of this to happen. But despite the counselling, Linda would not GIVE UP her relationship. Ergo, in my mother's mind that equals affair.

Before I ever came to BlackSDA and learned more I wondered about what type of "counseling" Linda was provided and kept my tongue as to what I would guess it might have involved. If in fact Danny believes that a wife spending too much time on the phone with a man that was not her husband(was it 15-20 minutes?) constitutes having an affair and individuals with similar mindthink believe the same and were doing the counselling, I only know what my personal reaction would be and those words ain't (and yes I said that) allowed on this board.

nw

This post has been edited by Noahswife: Feb 9 2007, 05:08 PM

[Observer]

What is professional counseling?

I will attempt to make a brief statement in the context of Linda and Danny as to what I would do if I had been involved in counseling them. I will begin with Linda first:

1) I would do an intake. That would be a personal history which would include social aspects of Linda's background as well as other issues. As Linda have been married prior to her marriage to Danny, that wuld be included. It would be comprehensive.

That purpose of that would be to identify to me issues associated with Linda's life and background that were pertenent to the issues of today.

2) I would attempt to get Linda to verbalize the relationshilp that she had with Dr. A.

The purpose would be in part to inform me. But it would also be an attempt to get Linda to fix in her mind the structural reality of that relationship.

3) I would attempt to get Linda to verbalize the emotional aspects of that relationship.

All relationships have an emotional aspect. Anger, etc. is an emotional aspect. I would do that in an attempt to get Linda to recognize how her emotions were involved in the relationship. and what those emotions were.

4) Then we would do the same for her marrige to Danny.

5) Next we would explore how the answers to the above issues impacted upon her marriage to Danny.

6) Then we would explore where Linda wanted to go in her relationship with Danny and also her relationship with Dr. A.

7) I have focused, so far, on Linda. I would take an similar approach to Danny.

8) Once I had helped both Linda and Danny clairfy in their minds the reality, and the direction that they wanted to go, I would help Linda and Danny explore their marriage and where they wanted to go with it.

If I had been effective, we would know where each one wanted to go with the marriage.

9) Once we knew where the marriage was going I would help them to explore how they would continue to relate to each other.

If they both wanted to build their marriage, I would help them to explore how to do such.

If they had decided to end the marriage, I would help them to explore how they would relate to each other in the future. The bottom line is that what we have seen here is an example of how people who plan to get a divorce should NOT relate to each other. If I was effective in this, Linda and Danny would be allowed to get on with their lives, without interference from the other, and they would relate to each other in a healthy manner. They might not be friends. There might be anger and pain. But, they would be moving on in health, and not in what we have seen.



Folks, this is a brief statemet that I simplly wrote off the top of my head, so to speak. If I were to think about it for a week, I would likely revise it. But, I will suggest that it gives you an idea as to what happpens in professional counseling

Yes, while I am a SDA clergyperson, I will still say that most SDA pastors are not qualified to do professional counseling.