Propose Some "wisdom Of Solomon" Even At This Late Date? Options

[Johann]

Johann, we are well aware of your ability to pose "loaded-questions!"

Have attourneys been granted a patent on asking loaded questions?

This post has been edited by Johann: Oct 26 2007, 11:58 AM

[YogusBearus]

Johann, I am furnishing you all this free information with the hope that you may change your attitude toward our system of laws and the appurtenant system of courts and more specifically toward one of my professions saddled with its ability to spawn lawyerly jokes.

Although I fully expect to be soundly disciplined for my trespasses, I just can't resist the opening to pick on our friendly attorneys.

Here are the punch lines from some of my favorites:

1. A good start!
2. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
3. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
4. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

What are yours?


-bear


P.S. WB, I know, but it will be alright…

[pacunurse30]

[SoulEspresso]

What are yours?

"His lips are moving."

"When they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years."

"Take your foot off his head."

"There are skid marks in front of the dog."

"Not enough sand."

"He'd just eaten a lawyer and was trying to get the taste out of his mouth ..."

Edited after thinking some more.

This post has been edited by SoulEspresso: Oct 26 2007, 07:34 PM

[PeacefulBe]

Those are terrific, guys, but is it really necessary to have the "ba-da-boom" drums after each one? Just a bit over the top, IMO.

CPAATTY, still waiting anxiously for yours...

[Johann]

Johann, I am furnishing you all this free information with the hope that you may change your attitude toward our system of laws and the appurtenant system of courts and more specifically toward one of my professions saddled with its ability to spawn lawyerly jokes.

As you see I am returning to your fount of wisdom to gain further knowledge of the intricacies involved in your exalted procession. Are you now indicating it is all just a spawning joke?

This post has been edited by Johann: Oct 27 2007, 03:35 AM

[PeacefulBe]

As you see I am returning to your fount of wisdom to gain further knowledge of the intricacies involved in your exalted procession. Are you now indicating it is all just a spawning joke?

Johann, where are you finding such indications? Since my legalese translator continues to be on the fritz (and I can't find one on the internet) I have not picked up on these particular clues. I was just beginning to conclude that this was all a lengthy set-up, a biding of time so to speak, so that near the end of the year CPAATTY would have us all ready for the following:

"Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishe(s)."

Amazing what you can find when Googling punchlines. It is my opinion, however, that the above is formed more after the manner of politically correct communication and is far too brief to be a pure example of CPAATTY's style. He would never use such simple phrases as "these best wishes", "of your choice" or "generally accepted calendar year", so... nevermind.

[GRAT]

Sorry, couldn't resist:

They lie still.

An ambulance stopped suddenly.

Lawyers don't think they're funny and no one else thinks they're jokes.

The best one about porcupines I don't think I can put in.

[Johann]

Johann, where are you finding such indications? Since my legalese translator continues to be on the fritz (and I can't find one on the internet) I have not picked up on these particular clues. I was just beginning to conclude that this was all a lengthy set-up, a biding of time so to speak, so that near the end of the year CPAATTY . . .

Doesn't it require sainthood to wait that long?

This post has been edited by Johann: Oct 27 2007, 08:36 PM

[PeacefulBe]

Doesn't it require sainthood to wait that long?

Depends on who's doing the waiting. You know what they say -

A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

[Johann]

Depends on who's doing the waiting. You know what they say -

A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

Is it a case of dragging rather than winning?

They also say the most successful physicians are those with the longest waiting lists. They let nature do the work for them.

This post has been edited by Johann: Oct 27 2007, 09:25 PM

[SoulEspresso]

The best one about porcupines I don't think I can put in.

That's two of us who have successfully resisted temptation.

[PeacefulBe]

Having still not reached a clear understanding of where you are coming from, CPAATTY, due to my poor grasp of legalese, I nonetheless had an epiphany today as I was cooking. I realized that if you put a recipe together in the same way that you post, you most likely rarely get to taste the fruits of your labors. This leads me to believe that you are probably quite slim, perhaps bordering on appearing as though you have an eating disorder, which then leads to the obvious conclusion that if you were to translate a goodly number of recipes into your special format you would most likely have a best-selling diet book.

Should you see the wisdom in this, I will happily share in a small percentage of your royalties.

[CPAATTY]

Anybody have access to any changes in by-laws that contain character provisions for directors, officers, and employees? An ounce of prevention is still worth a pound of cure even with those white as the driven snow.

Two wrongs never make a right; however, two changes made by the BOD may have made it as right as best they knew how going forward under the circumstances.

I still don't subscribe to illegally obtained evidence even though it may be proof!

[Statrei]

Why does it matter whether they are by-laws or changes in by-laws?