A Viewer's Version, Another side of the story Options

[inga]

she wasn't attacked....her view and rationale were questioned... just like everyone else who offers up opinions for consideration.... if that was her point then she is more than welcome to stick around and make it....

let me add that all views have been questioned at one time or another....

It seems that the denizens of this net don't recognize personal attack when they see it.

I would feel attacked if my intelligence were questioned in a number of subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Perhaps you wouldn't.
I would feel attacked if I spent time putting together a serious post laying out my views, and I got laughed at or told that I provided needed amusement. Perhaps you wouldn't.
I would feel attacked if I picked a name like "country bumpkin" to indicate that I am just "simple folk" and I were ridiculed because of it. Perhaps you wouldn't.
And I wouldn't feel too good if, after stating that I felt attacked because of the above, I were called paranoid. Perhaps it would make you feel good.

Some of the posts did, indeed, merely question the content of "bumpkin's" post, but others were clearly "ad hominem" -- i.e. arguments against the person rather than the points made. It is useful to consider, before posting, whether we are questioning the argument or ridiculing the person.

I'm pretty sure most folks on this board are really "nice" people and thus would not ridicule "bumpkin" to her face. It's so much easier to do on the screen ...

Uncle Sam, please tell "bumpkin" to give us another chance. After a while, she'll get used to how folks relate. She may even learn to appreciate the ones who were basically rude to her, or she may learn to ignore them. Either way, this is not a bad place to hang out.

This post has been edited by inga: Sep 1 2006, 08:08 PM

[PeacefulBe]

Inga,
When I saw the reaction to Bumpkin I had to wonder what spirit was in charge here.

As a new member and seeker of the truth, this only added to the bewildered state I find myself in over this whole 3abn situation. I still continue have peace through the Lord, tho

Thanks for so deftly putting into words what I, as an observer, was feeling!

[no_cults]

Hi All,
I’m the friend of Uncle Sam’s who thinks there is another scenario to this saga. As an avid viewer of 3ABN and not an insider, I will tell you the story from my perspective.

A number of years ago, Danny wanted to build a music studio and was repeatedly told NO! by the Lord. He continued to ask and was repeatedly denied and could not understand why. Finally in response to his request, he received permission, and the consequences are obvious to all.

Before the music studio was built, Linda used to brag in her subtle way about how she had Danny so rapped. He was always giving her foot massages, picking the seeds out of her water melons and was doing what ever else she asked him to do. She would even go so far as to say that she would cook for the dog, but not for him sometimes and that he would get food from the pot, only to find out later that she had made it for the dog. But the both laughed at it good naturedly and my attitude was that if it was alright with them, it was alright with me.

Shortly after the music studio came into being, the whole atmosphere changed on the set. First, a lot on Non-Adventists began to make appearances. Then Linda started making comments about the furs she was receiving and she started packing on the make-up hard and heavy, especially after the music videos started doing so well. She had always had to wear some since she was on TV, but now it appeared as if she were trying to appear 20 years younger. She use to appear on some of the “on location” sites without her make-up, but she began to openly show anger when Danny let a clip be shown of her without any make-up on. You could see the animosity building, but it was all coming from her side. The fire was in her eyes and he looked as goofy as before. He was still giving the same “thoughtless” comments, but now she wasn’t brushing them off. Now they were making her mad. And I can also tell you when that started. One day, it was their last anniversary program; Danny was talking again about how everything got started. And he made one comment that I knew was going to get him in trouble as soon as he said it. He was talking about how the Lord had told him to get the ministry started, and he was talking about how he and Linda were going around singing. He made the comment that, and I’m paraphrasing, ‘God told him that he need to go ahead and marry Linda and get it out of the way because He had a lot of work for him to do.’ Linda was taken completely off guard and said, “What did you say?” and poor simple Danny didn’t have the good since not to repeat himself and said it again. The fire that started in Linda’s eyes that day never truly left. You could see it simmering beneath the surface. Her pride was hurt and she couldn’t let it go. Even though I don’t know Danny, I know people and I can guess that he just brushed it off and didn’t make any more of it than he did of the other embarrassing comments he often made. But this time it was different.
Linda had someone who she could talk to about her problems who would lend a sympatric ear, and the rest is history.

And why do I believe Linda is not as innocent as she proclaims? The words came from her own web site. She said she went to Europe with a friend and when they came back the “friend betrayed her”. You can not betray someone unless you know something they do not want told. Maybe it was just a poor choice of words on her part.

And as to why I believe Danny is still stuck on Linda and is going to make Brandie’s life miserable also started with Linda’s web site. The only reason someone would write a na-na-na-na-na letter, would be to avenge a hurt. Now here is my scenario as to what happened.

Linda went to Europe with Brenda and Brenda saw something she didn’t like. She came home and told Danny and at first he didn’t believe her, but as time when on he became more and more suspicious. He tapped the phones and hired private detectives (per Linda’s web site) and heard something that took him over the edge. The love he had for her turned to a deep hurt, and he was not about to take that kind of rejection, supposed or real, without fighting back. And that meant finding a replacement. Someone who came to him to start a music career, with 2 small children, a singer, songwriter, newly converted to Adventism, and Brandy fit the bill. He just had to write Linda and tell her about it.

Now as far as who did what and who is guilty of what, only God and those actually involved know. So I will leave if for the judgment when all the secrets of man/woman shall come to light.

So do I think Linda or Danny are evil because of what happened? No. I think their hearts got lifted up because of the praises of the people and when the crisis came, neither would do what was needed to fix the situation. I believe Linda was emotionally set-up by the doctor but would not admit it and Danny was too proud and arrogant to forgive and play the man. Instead he played the fool!

But, that’s my version and I’m sticking to it.

Do you think that if a friend of yours said something about you that was
not true it would NOT be a "betrayal"?

[Just a Guy]

.....and I have five bridges to sell you.

I will never understand why BlackSDA of all the message boards I visit has so many people that copy the entire post (not sentence or two posts but paragraphs upon paragraphs) when replying.

This post has been edited by Just a Guy: Sep 1 2006, 10:29 PM

[Seraphim7]

Just one point. You say that because Linda indicated that a friend had betrayed her that meant that she had done something wrong that she did not want exposed.

Is that really so?

Think again! Jesus was betrayed by Judas. Did Jesus do anything wrong??????

Thank you for making that point. That was the first thing that came to mind after I read the statement as well.

Do you think that if a friend of yours said something about you that was
not true it would NOT be a "betrayal"?

Exactly!!!

[Panama_Pete]

A number of years ago, Danny wanted to build a music studio and was repeatedly told NO! by the Lord. He continued to ask and was repeatedly denied and could not understand why. Finally in response to his request, he received permission, and the consequences are obvious to all.

I understand that Ethel "ET" Everett, has a BA degree in Music Education. It was my understanding that she wanted the music studio. I talked to her at one time, and she was looking ahead to the building of the Sound Center, and it seemed to me she was already ensconced there.

I wasn't aware that Danny was having a back and forth debate about the Sound Center with God, where God repeatedly says, "NO." It's accurate, however, that this is probably what a lot of the 3ABN followers believe -- or want to believe.

The reservations I have about these God debates, however, is that there are many good Christians who don't have these one-on-one, back and forth, conversations with God, and go away thinking their connection to God is weaker than someone else's.

Pentecostals and Charismatics use "the God connection" as a major fund-raising and control device. Followers say, "I'll give my money to Marilyn/Oral because she/he gets messages straight from God, and she'll/he'll know best what to do with my money."

With miracle stories that exist out in the world, who can say for sure whether the statue of the Virgin Mary is weeping tears or not? All you do is hurt the feelings of the person who thinks they experienced something should you express any scepticism. So miracle stories -- and God conversations -- can be very effective, and have been effective everywhere, for many decades. If you speak against them, you may be held in contempt.

But, once again, this post represents a good appraisal of what the 3ABN viewers formulate in their own minds from watching. And whether God is saying "yes" or "no" I can only formulate my own opinion based on what I have seen and heard.

[Reflection]

I do not think she was attacked, There was no personal name calling. Uncle Sam perhaps you should have warned her that when you put something out here, expect to be challenged, expect others to vehemently support opposing views. Country needs to get a thicker skin if she wants to voice an opinion here.

Hi Calvin: Before I respond, I feel I need to introduce myself since I just registered and this is my first post. I only recently learned of BSDA through a copy of a letter my pastor husband received from the Norwegian doctor at our church. Our church airs 3ABN in our community, a fact that is a great concern to us right now. I was actually thankful to get this information. It has been bothering me since I first read the 3ABN public letter about Linda, and the doctor's letter confirmed my suspicions. Just gut/intuition from life experience. Anyway, I just felt the need to jump in here because I've been reading posts here for about 2 or 3 weeks and kind of got the gist of how people respond to each other. You are a bunch of friends and joke with each other, get sarcastic, jab at each other, etc. The reason it doesn't bother you is because you have already established a relationship. This poor new person had no idea.

You guys laughed at a newbie

you jabbed a newbie


hammered at a newbie

Since this is supposed to be a Christian group, I just wanted to remind the members of a few things, and maybe highlight some things you may not recognize because of your familiarity. You know, it is almost like she walked into your living room and no one smiled at her. The first thing you did was laugh at her (besides a couple of you called her a he):

Simplysaved
thank you for making me laugh this morning....this really brought a much needed smile to my face. I like your style! (THERE WERE QUITE A FEW LITTLE EMOTICONS MAKING LAUGHTER EVIDENT.)

Yes, simplysaved says "I like your style" but I am not really sure if he is making fun or not. I can't see his face and I don't know simplysaved at all. Neither does countrybumpkin.

This one implies that countrybumpkin is trying to pull one over on you. (I am not gullible.) This could have been considered the same as calling her a liar:
CLAY:
country bumpkin? must be related to Danny..... this story would have us believe that Danny is clueless and Linda was mad because she was getting old and Danny was making insensitive remarks about their relationship....... alrighty then... I may be tired but I am not gulliable......


Observer:
Bumpkin, you said: "You can not betray someone unless you know something they do not want told."

Betrayal often comes in the telling of a falsehood, that is probably more common than in telling the truth.

Bumpkin, your missive is simply speculation, with neither knowledge nor reason.

Yes, the first part is just a response, but "with neither knowledge nor reason" could be construed as an insult without eye contact, body language or relationship.

Princess Di:
.....and I have five bridges to sell you. One of them is very famous!

I did not find anything else that could be construed as offensive in this post, but to start off like that with someone you do not know might be misunderstood. Again without eye contact, body language, or relationship (history together), one cannot be clear on whether or not one is being made fun of.

Denny
These are The Days of our Lives........
Now, this one does have body language. Just look at those two girls! They always give me the feeling that whoever it is they are looking at are being made fun of! And maybe that they don't care at all/kind of indifferent. And that comment coming after a couple others must be making the recipient feel like she is being made fun of. It's just cummulative after a while, kind of a group atmosphere.

Now, if she decided to come back to see if maybe she was being paranoid, she might have seen this:
(personal name calling perhaps?)
Ralph:
hmmmm, I wonder who will give him his next pay chequue.

Just to make sure that he was describing himself correctly, I checked the dictionary.

bumpkin -- not very intelligent or interested in culture

Or this sarcastic take on it all:
CLAY:
have a nice life..... thanks for sharing your ummmm view of things.... and no I am not sorry that some were skeptical.... as for the other.... you have not seen hate.... if your story can't stand a little closer examination, perhaps you might keep it to yourself.....

Now, who knows this person? Do you all pray before you speak? Do you pray before you post? Good questions to ask yourselves.

Sorry to come on here hammering people. But it just bugged me to see Christians treating someone like this. What someone thinks is not the important thing. The important thing is to represent Christ in all our interactions and to minister to each other. If we need a swift kick, then a friend should give one. Before you jab and joke with someone, make sure you first make them feel safe-- communicate your personal regard for other. That takes time. Take the time. I recently took a computer course and was made aware of computer addiction. Maybe some of you... well, I'll wait until we establish a relationship first before...

Thanks for listening!

Good emoticons for newbies:

[calvin]

Reflection, you make some good points in your observations. I admit, BSDA does have an edge to it. I can certainly understand how someone could be turned off by our confrontational in-your-face style, especially on hot button issues that members have strong opinions about.

BlackSDA is what it is. It’s not for everybody.

[Panama_Pete]

Uncle Sam, please tell "bumpkin" to give us another chance. After a while, she'll get used to how folks relate. She may even learn to appreciate the ones who were basically rude to her, or she may learn to ignore them. Either way, this is not a bad place to hang out.

I agree. However, I would recommend dropping the "bumpkin" part and just going with "Country B." That "bumpkin" word means different things to different people in different places.

The word "bumpkin" has the following etymology:

"Bumpkin is a derivative of bum, “the rear end. It may come from either the Middle Dutch word bommekijn, “ a little barrel,” or the Flemish word boomken, “shrub" Such a person may easily have been compared to a block of wood; That country Bumpkin just sits on his porch and whittles."

I'm sure for some, the self-chosen handle "bumpkin" seemed to imply the user of that handle had a thick skin, strong opinions, and self-assurance, and wouldn't be offended by a strong retort.

Therefore, I'm hoping "Country B" will see this as a misunderstanding and return. Some here were reading the etymological tea leaves -- and the tea leaves were wrong.

[no_cults]

Reflection, you make some good points in your observations. I admit, BSDA does have an edge to it. I can certainly understand how someone could be turned off by our confrontational in-your-face style, especially on hot button issues that members have strong opinions about.

BlackSDA is what it is. It’s not for everybody.

Calvin, you have a way with words.
VERY well said !!!

(In my opinion, you were very kind and generous to Reflection.)

[Ralph]

You guys laughed at a newbie

you jabbed a newbie


hammered at a newbie

There's a little history that may explain why the rash treatment of this newbie. On Club Adventist, there was a false persona, Margaret Gray, who wrote things to keep the pot boiling. I questioned whether Country Bumpkin was genuine. I felt that she knew too much to merely be a listener to the broadcast, and Daryl Fawcett apparently felt the same, for he wrote:

Some of the things Country Bumpkin said, if true, would sound more like what would have needed to have been inside stuff rather than outside stuff.

I was mistaken in my assumption that we were dealing with another "Margaret Gray', so my apologies to Country Bumpkin. forgive.


By the way, Reflection,

[Clay]

Now, who knows this person? Do you all pray before you speak? Do you pray before you post? Good questions to ask yourselves.

Sorry to come on here hammering people. But it just bugged me to see Christians treating someone like this. What someone thinks is not the important thing. The important thing is to represent Christ in all our interactions and to minister to each other. If we need a swift kick, then a friend should give one. Before you jab and joke with someone, make sure you first make them feel safe-- communicate your personal regard for other. That takes time. Take the time. I recently took a computer course and was made aware of computer addiction. Maybe some of you... well, I'll wait until we establish a relationship first before...

the person came on.... their first post (as in their very first post) is in a thread that is a hot button topic.....in my opinion, if you have the courage (the moxie) to make your first post in a hot button topic, then you are ready to deal with the fallout... now if she wasn't ready, then perhaps she should have posted in some of the other areas that are less controversial...

My point? If you come in to participate, and then start posting away at the most controversial topic of the moment, don't complain that you are a newbie and didn't know when your comments are dissected, scrutized, and questioned..... as they use to tell me....



This post has been edited by Clay: Sep 2 2006, 11:17 PM

[PeacefulBe]

Hi Calvin: Before I respond, I feel I need to introduce myself since I just registered and this is my first post. I only recently learned of BSDA through a copy of a letter my pastor husband received from the Norwegian doctor at our church. Our church airs 3ABN in our community, a fact that is a great concern to us right now. I was actually thankful to get this information. It has been bothering me since I first read the 3ABN public letter about Linda, and the doctor's letter confirmed my suspicions. Just gut/intuition from life experience.

Hi Reflection. I am also a new member here - searching for answers and truth about the situation at 3abn. I have asked several questions in this pursuit but have not had any answers in response from the more seasoned members. I don't know if my questions were just overlooked or avoided but that is what has been happening to me.

I would like to see some sort of proof that Danny and Tommy Shelton have molested girls and boys. I can't find either of them on Megan's Law websites for Illinois or Kentucky. The charges have been made here and in The Televangelist but where are the accusers? I have read with interest the testimonies of people who are working or have worked at 3abn and am concerned about what they say are the conditions there.

From some of the group I hear that they want 3abn to continue its huge ministry to the world with a new leadership in place. Others seem to want it shut down. I see that you and your church are concerned that 3abn is airing in your community. What are your concerns?

I have personally received many blessing from some of the programming I have watched on 3abn. That said, I do believe that the truth should be brought out - whatever it is. I have no first hand experience with the situation at 3abn so I don't know what the truth is. I seek truth and I pray that God will intervene according to His will. That is the best I can do.

[Clay]

Hi Reflection. I am also a new member here - searching for answers and truth about the situation at 3abn. I have asked several questions in this pursuit but have not had any answers in response from the more seasoned members. I don't know if my questions were just overlooked or avoided but that is what has been happening to me.

I would like to see some sort of proof that Danny and Tommy Shelton have molested girls and boys. I can't find either of them on Megan's Law websites for Illinois or Kentucky. The charges have been made here and in The Televangelist but where are the accusers? I have read with interest the testimonies of people who are working or have worked at 3abn and am concerned about what they say are the conditions there.

From some of the group I hear that they want 3abn to continue its huge ministry to the world with a new leadership in place. Others seem to want it shut down. I see that you and your church are concerned that 3abn is airing in your community. What are your concerns?

I have personally received many blessing from some of the programming I have watched on 3abn. That said, I do believe that the truth should be brought out - whatever it is. I have no first hand experience with the situation at 3abn so I don't know what the truth is. I seek truth and I pray that God will intervene according to His will. That is the best I can do.

you have not received any answers about that issue because that issue is off limits for the time being.... the discussion has been limited to the divorce and the management style.... we will not be dealing with allegations of molestation or alleged murder....

[PeacefulBe]

you have not received any answers about that issue because that issue is off limits for the time being.... the discussion has been limited to the divorce and the management style.... we will not be dealing with allegations of molestation or alleged murder....

Clay, thanks for your information. I am a little surprised at this, though. I brought it up because folks were refering to the allegations in several of the topics - quoting from the televangelist, etc. Guess they didn't know it was off limits either.