A Viewer's Version, Another side of the story Options

[inga]

Inga,
points taken.... unless you have violated some forum rule there is no reason to ban you.... I will do my best to see to it that newbies are not flamed their first time out..... (even though I don't think CB was flamed..... singed a little, but not flamed)

Thanks, Steve. I really appreciate your response.

Having taught logical argumentation and logical fallacies to my junior and senior classes in high school, my antennas are admittedly better attuned to ad hominem posts than most people's. And, being a woman, I can probably empathize a bit better with another woman who came on here to tell her story in the expectation that she would at least be takent seriously in the "free" posting environment. Being ridiculed isn't easy to take for most folks. (I've lived long enough that I just consider the source, so it probably wouldn't bother me in the same way. )

To tell the truth, this experience has served to make me a little more cautious in my own posting. Irony/sarcasm comes easily to me, if I let it. (It took me years to quit the habit in my youth. It's addictive for some of us.) And I wonder if I've let my guard down in some of my posts here. (Hey, I don't want to have to go through withdrawal again!! )

This post has been edited by inga: Sep 3 2006, 08:59 PM

[PeacefulBe]

Early in the posting history of the 3ABN section you indicated that you realized only one side was being represented, and you seemed eager to have both sides represented. However, the way "country bumpkin" was treated ensures that that side of the matter won't get much exposure here, except by the most thick-skinned folks who may be thick-skinned in more ways than one and maybe not the best "witnesses." Most folks don't willingly subject themselves to such treatment.

But, as you pointed out, it is your call regarding what tone you want to have on this board. If you want to allow flaming of newbies, that's your business. If you want to prevent viewers from posting how they see the issues, that's your business. If you think that ridicule of new posters is an appropriate Christian response, it's your call. But I had thought better of you ...

The way I see it, those who ridiculed "countrybumpkin" weren't trying to be mean to an innocent newbie. They were probably set up for that kind of response by several earlier posters who came on here with both guns blazing, and they failed to recognize that this poster was different. And that makes me think that it would probably be a good idea to be courteous even to those who are discourteous. Would that be so bad for BSDA?

And, of course, I realize I'm here by your good graces and you can shut off my access any time it pleases you. So, if it pleases you to deny my access to this board now, I want to thank you for my time here. I've learned to appreciate the folks here -- even when I don't agree with them. (I also find it interesting to observe the postings of folks I know from other venues by their real identity.) And the fact that you seem to have the most open SDA posting environment on the net has made this a valuable clearinghouse. However, I don't think that treating newcomers a little more kindly would take away from what BSDA has to offer. In fact, I rather think it would add to its attraction. And you would surely get a more balanced picture that way.

Blessings,
Inga Anderson

Inga,
While I was swimming just off of a gorgeous,white sandy beach near Waterloo, Sierra Leone one day, I looked up in awe to see the silvery shimmerings of a few flying fish whisking through the salty air. As my gaze drifted back down to the beautiful blue water I noticed a roiling commotion not far from where I was standing. I asked my companion what made the water move so and she replied “The barracuda are feeding.” Needless to say I soon found myself back on the safety of the white sand.

I’m not sure what brought that decades old memory to mind today but I thought I’d share it.

[calvin]

Point taken Inga. Now everybody back on topic. Anybody else got any criticism or suggestions on how we administer this board, PM or email me privately. Won’t promise I will response, I will read it. Lot a lot of work to do on the board to get it back.

[inga]

Point taken Inga. Now everybody back on topic.

I thought we were on topic, Calvin -- the topic of a Viewer's Version of events surrounding 3ABN.

I would personally like more feedback from folks like CB. If we receive them graciously, they may be able to recognize that what they see on the screen is not necessarily reality, but more like the other reality TV shows.

[Reflection]

Hi Peacefully Bewildered: Just wondering if you saw my answer to your question about our concerns?

[PeacefulBe]

Hi Peacefully Bewildered: Just wondering if you saw my answer to your question about our concerns?

Hi Reflection.

Yes, I saw your post and thought I had answered. It must have gotten lost with all of trouble the site had - or maybe it was just my computer. The site kept showing "action cancelled" for me.

[PeacefulBe]

Hi PeacefullyBewildered. Thanks for the response! Our concerns have to do with the unknown really. If these allegations are true, this promises to be a very big scandal. What will the media do with it? Will 3ABN be squashed? So, since 3ABN in a sense is the face of Adventism, should we be intertwined with them at all? On the other hand if these are untrue allegations, then who wants to be a part of the rumor mill that destroys an innocent entity that is doing a good work? Yet if it is true, our little church that has so much potential to reach our community could lose its sphere of influence.

This definitely is a conundrum. From my own personal experience I have been so blessed by many of the programs on 3abn. My opinion is that if the rumors prove to be true, the true seekers will not be turned against your church. The Holy Spirit is far more powerful! Just my opinion.

So, this whole thing is unfortunate, but looks like we will all need to deal with it. Some of the challenges I see regarding this:
1. SDA church losing influence and a barrier between us and those Christ wants to reach.
2. Danny being turned into the bigger-than-life Disney villain by SDAs, and Linda being turned into a goddess. As a result, lack of well-composed prayers for both, lack of balanced interaction with both.
3. The possibility that whole churches will be split over this issue.
I also see many good outcomes once this is resolved. Cleansing is always a good thing. For one thing, and I think I'll stop here or I may end up writing a book: Many church members may have felt that 3ABN was taking care of the Great Commission. Perhaps this mentality has kept many from developing witnessing skills as they felt opening their purses was fulfilling their responsibilities.

Many of your points/concerns mirror my own.

Most important action for those of us on the sidelines: Prayer for all involved. Try not to demonize or deify, though have eyes wide open for the truth. Hope for true repentance. Pray God picks up the pieces (even though we know He will).

This, I believe, is the strongest part we can play in this whole situation!

[inga]

Inga,
While I was swimming just off of a gorgeous,white sandy beach near Waterloo, Sierra Leone one day, I looked up in awe to see the silvery shimmerings of a few flying fish whisking through the salty air. As my gaze drifted back down to the beautiful blue water I noticed a roiling commotion not far from where I was standing. I asked my companion what made the water move so and she replied “The barracuda are feeding.” Needless to say I soon found myself back on the safety of the white sand.

I’m not sure what brought that decades old memory to mind today but I thought I’d share it.

You're not sure, huh?

[country bumpkin]

Hi All,

I must say that all is not lost on this web site. I must admit that the first site I read when I came back was INGA’s so that gave me courage to continue. After reading a few more and seeing that the rhetoric had settled to a low boil, I felt is was safe to stick my toe back in the water.

To start with, I am a BLACK FEMALE who has never been to 3ABN, but has watched 3ABN consistently for the last 9 years, non-stop, all day, every day. That stopped about a year ago when I moved and was not able to take my dish with me. I chose the name country bumpkin because I moved to the country from the city 6 months ago. I had originally chosen the name country girl, but when I went outside and say my 3 foot weeds instead of produce in my entire garden, I figured bumpkin would be more appropriate.

As for the word betrayal, you do have a valid point in that Judas was referred to as betraying Jesus and he was innocent. That is the only point I will concede.

Now I do believe Linda said something on that phone to set Danny off. I know that I personally have said some hurtful things about my husband, that were said in anger because I was hurt, that could have escalated our marriage out of control if he heard them. And they would have been extremely damaging if he knew I was saying these things to another man. Fortunately for me, not only did he not hear what I said, I had since enough never to talk over issues like that with a male. And because he never heard the “venting” I did, I eventually calmed down and was glad nothing came of it.

As for the rest of your arguments, I still haven’t read most because I couldn’t get past the “attack node” introductions to get to the gist of the questions and as I don’t want to have a heart attack and leave my children orphans, I refuse to go back and read them.

Signed COUNTRY BUMPKIN!

P.S. Newbie or not, you all need to learn to be nice to people. How can you write some of the things you do and go to church each week and say “Happy Sabbath” to those you meet? One of them might be me.

[Clay]

thank you CB for your views..... in my opinion a mature male should not respond as Mr. Shelton did.... in essence you are "blaming the victim." Linda did not deserve to be abused, verbally, mentally, or physically because something she said "might have set Danny off...."

as for your other comment....

How can you write some of the things you do and go to church each week and say “Happy Sabbath” to those you meet? One of them might be me.

I may respond to that one later, however, you are new, so welcome to the forum....

[summertime]

thank you CB for your views..... in my opinion a mature male should not respond as Mr. Shelton did.... in essence you are "blaming the victim." Linda did not deserve to be abused, verbally, mentally, or physically because something she said "might have set Danny off...."

as for your other comment.... I may respond to that one later, however, you are new, so welcome to the forum....

A man like Danny, who says that he has been called by God to start a station should have never been so easily 'set off'. His response should have been as that like a 'man of God'. You may be a lucky CB to have been spared the knowledge of your husband knowing of the folly of your ways. . And if I were to see Satan himself at my church on the Sabbath, I would go out of my way to say, "Happy Sabbath''.

This post has been edited by summertime: Sep 5 2006, 02:00 PM

[sonshineonme]

As for the word betrayal, you do have a valid point in that Judas was referred to as betraying Jesus and he was innocent. That is the only point I will concede.

Now I do believe Linda said something on that phone to set Danny off. I know that I personally have said some hurtful things about my husband, that were said in anger because I was hurt, that could have escalated our marriage out of control if he heard them. And they would have been extremely damaging if he knew I was saying these things to another man. Fortunately for me, not only did he not hear what I said, I had since enough never to talk over issues like that with a male. And because he never heard the “venting” I did, I eventually calmed down and was glad nothing came of it.

As for the rest of your arguments, I still haven’t read most because I couldn’t get past the “attack node” introductions to get to the gist of the questions and as I don’t want to have a heart attack and leave my children orphans, I refuse to go back and read them.

Signed COUNTRY BUMPKIN!

Welcome CB, or Country B, or Bumpkin, or Country Bumpkin...all are fine with me, you tell me!

I want to address a couple things you said.
One: Betrayal is when someone does something to YOU that YOU would not expect from them(based on a relationship of some kind). Lieing to you by telling you one thing and actually doing something else - leaving you to believe something that is not true, or a lie about you to someone else, those are ways of betrayal. A husband/wife having an affair on you - betrayal. Now, if you tell someone something private, and they break the promise to you to keep silent, yes, that could be considered a betrayal, in a fashion. Trust broken, etc. I can tell you that Linda did NOT betray her husband, and that Brenda DID betray Linda, one of her best friends. She did do this. I know, you are just left to take my word for it.

Second: Linda did not need to say anything on the phone to set Dan off. Danny is a creative man. When he wants something, he finds a way to get it/do it. He is, as Linda has told me on more then one occasion, "the most persistant man I know". He does NOT quit. He will NOT give up on something he wants. This can be good and this can be bad. It has been a "gift" if you want to say it, used wrongly in many ways and occasions. You have simplified things in your mind based on what Dan wants you to think happend. Keep an open mind. Things did not go as you assume.

One more note here - and this is to reflection and PeacefullyBewildered as well; while 3abn has been "used" by God, God is not limited to an organization to do anything He wants done. Because our God is also "the most persistant" when it comes to saving His children, there are many ways and mysteries of God's to accomplish His will. Sin is HIS battle, he uses people and ministries where they can be used - it's our priviledge to be used - but if we step away from the mission, we also step away from Gods purpose for us. 3abn was a tool. There will be and ARE other tools. Lets not get hung up on "what's going to happen to the church". The church is NOT 3abn. If people think that, then they need to be educated. 3abn is an INDEPENDANT MINISTRY. That is it. Nothing more. When a tool breaks, and this one has been broken in many ways for a long time, in spite of that God still uses things, whatever He needs (a donkey too) it is of no more use, and new tool(s) will be used. I have faith that He is in control. I will not hang my hat on 3abn (never have actually) to be the voice of God, and when it's gone, oh no, what will happen?? To me, if that is how you think, you better re-think where you put your weight on things, and also realize that you have been TAUGHT to think this way. It is not healthy. Example, when I was growing up in this church, I was TAUGHT that if some preacher spoke from the pulpit that we were to listen, because it was from God - because that person wouldn't be there if God had not put them there. Not necessarily true at all. I have seen plenty of people in the pulpit that put themselves there. How do I know? Because their character did not match that of someone representing Christ (and I don't mean they weren't perfect, I mean CHARACTER). We can make judgements when things are put in front of your eyeballs - it becomes clear when you use the brain that God instilled in your head to see and understand things - and Jesus as our example. Many things are commen sense, but we SDA's tend to trust what everyone tell us instead of being willing to say "I don't agree, I don't see it that way" without fear.

Do your homework, there is a lot of info now, Dan is seeing the writing on the wall. Things have a way of coming around, and I pray that those that have worshiped the MAN will be willing to see he is just a man, who, well, lets just say, has a lot ahead of him to face. He has made a mess of things, and with the help of many. It's been wrong, it's still wrong, and it will end.

This post has been edited by sonshineonme: Sep 5 2006, 06:07 PM

[princessdi]

Welcome back CB! I would first like to apologize to you for the way I began my post. I do understnad that you are represnetative of the picture that 3ABN wants to portray to the world. It is not your fault.

Secondly, I agree with Clay. As someone who claims to be annointed and appointed and leader in Christian living, Danny "knows" better.

...and Sista Gurl, Statements like your last statement is what got you feelin like you had jumped into the shark tank in the beginning. Youc an't go "there" and expect us not to, at least some of us. You know the saying........If you can't stand the heat.........you are no longer a newbie! Welcome to the BSDA Family!!! Murch lurve!!

Hi All,

I must say that all is not lost on this web site. I must admit that the first site I read when I came back was INGA’s so that gave me courage to continue. After reading a few more and seeing that the rhetoric had settled to a low boil, I felt is was safe to stick my toe back in the water.

To start with, I am a BLACK FEMALE who has never been to 3ABN, but has watched 3ABN consistently for the last 9 years, non-stop, all day, every day. That stopped about a year ago when I moved and was not able to take my dish with me. I chose the name country bumpkin because I moved to the country from the city 6 months ago. I had originally chosen the name country girl, but when I went outside and say my 3 foot weeds instead of produce in my entire garden, I figured bumpkin would be more appropriate.

As for the word betrayal, you do have a valid point in that Judas was referred to as betraying Jesus and he was innocent. That is the only point I will concede.

Now I do believe Linda said something on that phone to set Danny off. I know that I personally have said some hurtful things about my husband, that were said in anger because I was hurt, that could have escalated our marriage out of control if he heard them. And they would have been extremely damaging if he knew I was saying these things to another man. Fortunately for me, not only did he not hear what I said, I had since enough never to talk over issues like that with a male. And because he never heard the “venting” I did, I eventually calmed down and was glad nothing came of it.

As for the rest of your arguments, I still haven’t read most because I couldn’t get past the “attack node” introductions to get to the gist of the questions and as I don’t want to have a heart attack and leave my children orphans, I refuse to go back and read them.

Signed COUNTRY BUMPKIN!

P.S. Newbie or not, you all need to learn to be nice to people. How can you write some of the things you do and go to church each week and say “Happy Sabbath” to those you meet? One of them might be me.

[PeacefulBe]

You're not sure, huh?

Alright, Inga. You caught me! It did rather feel like a feeding frenzy when CB posted her perspective. I'm just happy there was a good and redemptive followup discussion.

[PeacefulBe]

One more note here - and this is to reflection and PeacefullyBewildered as well; while 3abn has been "used" by God, God is not limited to an organization to do anything He wants done. Because our God is also "the most persistant" when it comes to saving His children, there are many ways and mysteries of God's to accomplish His will. Sin is HIS battle, he uses people and ministries where they can be used - it's our priviledge to be used - but if we step away from the mission, we also step away from Gods purpose for us. 3abn was a tool. There will be and ARE other tools. Lets not get hung up on "what's going to happen to the church". The church is NOT 3abn. If people think that, then they need to be educated. 3abn is an INDEPENDANT MINISTRY. That is it. Nothing more. When a tool breaks, and this one has been broken in many ways for a long time, in spite of that God still uses things, whatever He needs (a donkey too) it is of no more use, and new tool(s) will be used. I have faith that He is in control. I will not hang my hat on 3abn (never have actually) to be the voice of God, and when it's gone, oh no, what will happen?? To me, if that is how you think, you better re-think where you put your weight on things, and also realize that you have been TAUGHT to think this way. It is not healthy. Example, when I was growing up in this church, I was TAUGHT that if some preacher spoke from the pulpit that we were to listen, because it was from God - because that person wouldn't be there if God had not put them there. Not necessarily true at all. I have seen plenty of people in the pulpit that put themselves there. How do I know? Because their character did not match that of someone representing Christ (and I don't mean they weren't perfect, I mean CHARACTER). We can make judgements when things are put in front of your eyeballs - it becomes clear when you use the brain that God instilled in your head to see and understand things - and Jesus as our example. Many things are commen sense, but we SDA's tend to trust what everyone tell us instead of being willing to say "I don't agree, I don't see it that way" without fear.

Do your homework, there is a lot of info now, Dan is seeing the writing on the wall. Things have a way of coming around, and I pray that those that have worshiped the MAN will be willing to see he is just a man, who, well, lets just say, has a lot ahead of him to face. He has made a mess of things, and with the help of many. It's been wrong, it's still wrong, and it will end.

I was speaking to Reflection's concerns over the impact the scandal at 3abn might have on their local church.

I learned early in my SDA experience not to blindly trust our preachers. When I was 17 one of them thought he could take advantage of my youth. This young, good-looking married father of two small children isolated me in a gorgeous valley and tried to do inappropriate things to me but found I was far too savy to become a victim. In contrast, when I took a walk in the woods with HMS Richards SR. a few years later he proved himself to be a faithful man of God whose only agenda was to share his faith with a young woman.

We each must test what is preached to us to see if it is true.

I have never been a fan of Danny's but have found lots of spiritual blessings from 3abn. I was blessed many times by Linda's devotionals on the porch. Of course I only saw them for a short time before she was suddenly gone.

I saw several hours of 3abn programming each day as I did in-home care for my 100-year-old grandmother. She has had a dish since the late 80's and has the programming on every waking hour. She is now 101 1/2 and is still watching it. She is hot-under-the-collar furious with Danny for pushing Linda out and especially for getting remarried.

My advice to her was that until we know the facts of the matter we can't make judgements. I also reminded her that the tares and the wheat grow together until God does the reaping. If Danny is a tare, there are still bushels of wheat that can be a blessing until the end of the 3abn story.

I know from personal experience that one can find a true spriritual blessing even from an imperfect ministry. You just have to be careful and prayerful. Our denomination is led by imperfect humans and is filled with imperfect members. Every one of us can only find perfection through Christ Our Righteousness and where we are in that journey is determined by our connection to Him.